a Page 7792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Have You Seen This Man’s Penis? GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
More Fun With Baseball Names
It's the All-Jane Austen Team, featuring such fine country gentleman as Chad Billingsley, Micah Hoffpauir, Gordon Beckham III, and one Ryan Benjamin Rowland-Smith. Oh, I do hope the landed gentry aren't too scandalized! [Lookout Landing]...
Yet Another Roethlisberger Incident: "He Pulled His Pants Down"
The Georgia investigation uncovered more allegations of sexual impropriety on Big Ben's part. In this case, on multiple occasions, he invited a woman to his home and made some very unwanted advances....
Joslyn James Will Make Precisely As Many Tour Appearances As Tiger
James will follow Tiger to Charlotte, appearing at a local strip club while he plays Quail Hollow in two weeks. How long will she keep this up? Months? Years? Decades? Knowing strippers, I'll say decades. [Charlotte Observer]...
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....
Spandex-Wearing Men Humiliate Defenseman, Selves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Scott Stapp Ruins America
Scott Stapp, not content with making you hate music, God, and baseball, has decided to ruin America for everyone, too. Here he is, doing unspeakable things to our country's national anthem....
Ex-Florida Gator Would Like You To Know How Easy It Is For Athletes To Get Laid
Hoopster Ray Shipman is transferring from Florida after just two years on campus, but before he goes, he has a message for his fellow students: Owning a letterman's jacket is basically a license to tap ass....
The Nets Should Party Harder Next Season
Jersey players were reportedly "downing tequila shots with a bevy of hot blondes" the night before their "big game" against Miami. Look, a 70-loss team has no big games, but that double-OT effort was pretty inspired. !Mas tequila, por favor!...
Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...
Maybe They Ran Up The Score, But At Least They Did It Quickly
A Wisconsin high school baseball game ending with a 45-0 score — and that's only because they called the game after three innings. The Astros are inquiring about the possibility of a mercy rule in MLB. [Rhinelander Daily News]...
The Roethlisberger Documents: "His Penis Was Already Out Of His Pants"
Now we know exactly what Roethlisberger was accused of doing that night: straight up, unprotected sex. Let's dig right in to the sordid details, shall we?...
Where Are All The Fans? Watching Soccer, Actually
We're barely a week into the season, and already teams are freaking right the fuck out about empty seats. And the numbers sure have been embarrassing....
Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte
Sam's down in the comments, awaiting both your observations on America's sham meritocracy and your penis humor. Go say hi. Don't forget to read the excerpt and buy the book....
Excerpt From <em>The Ask</em>: "... And I Pictured Titboning Vargina In A Rare Books Room"
Below is the first chapter of The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte, our funniest and foremost chronicler of fuck-up Americana. Read it and come back at 3 p.m. for a live chat with the author in a followup post....
It's Professional Naked Lady Bobblehead Night
The Las Vegas 51s gave away bobbleheads of Holly Madison, the number one gal in Hugh Hefner's harem. A bobblehead? I can't masturbate to that. [Rick Chandler]...
<i>Chicago Tribune</i> Writer Sits On Fighting Bulls Scoop, <i>Sun-Times</i> Has No Problem With That
TNT's Craig Sager reported that Chicago Tribune writer K.C. Johnson knew about the John Paxson-Vinny Del Negro dustup weeks ago, but kept quiet "out of respect" for the coach. Obviously, this makes Craig Sager an unprincipled hack....
Bogus Rumors About The <em>Entourage</em> Douches That We'll Choose To Believe Anyway
I hate stretching. I hate everything about it. Ninety percent of all stretching done in America today is done in a cursory fashion. You have to go lift or exercise, so you grab your foot and stretch your quad for three seconds, then you jump on the equipment. This is how I stretch, and it does nothi...
Indoor Cycling Crash Cleaves Bike In Two, Startles Racers
This crash happened at the UCI Track Cycling World Championship last month in Copenhagen. Alarming as it is, everyone seems to be fine. Otherwise, playing a peppy Killers song afterward would've been in very bad taste. [Break]...