a Page 7802 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kansas City Royals: Small-Town Dreams, Small-Town Problems
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Kansas City Royals....

On The Block: Thurman Munson's Pilot License
Okay, forget Thomas Hearns's baby spoon; this might be the saddest auction item out there....

Here's A Video Of A Basketball-Playing Dog That You Will Watch All Day
This pup has the fundamentals and requisite pizazz to dominate a rec league and galvanize a small town, something that has not been seen since the Air Bud franchise stormed into theaters and stole our hearts and our $9.95. [YouTube]...

Getting High With Alex Chilton In Tuscaloosa, 1986-1990: An Oral History
Big Star's Alex Chilton, the musician whom your favorite band is probably ripping off right now, died two weeks ago. What follows is an oral history of Alex's very brief and extraordinarily stoned time in an Alabama college town....

A Letter From Everyplace Else: This Is Why You Should Hate Duke
SB Nation's Andrew Sharp fires off a rigid counterpoint to the Bentern's love letter to Duke. Smell the hatred. [SBNation]...

Who’s Stupid Enough To Fall For A Mark Sanchez April Fool’s Prank? Take A Wild Guess
Remember how I said yesterday that people have become immune to online April Fool's jokes? Well, I should have left STUPID people out of that stance, like Jason McIntyre and the New York Post....

Last Night's Winner: John Feinstein
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sportswriter John Feinstein, who badgered a hapless NCAA VP yesterday over tournament expansion and thereby became a hero to anti-expansionists for all the wrong reasons....

Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....

Jason Whitlock Apparently Getting His Becky On, Via Twitter
This message, in which Very Provocative Columnist Jason Whitlock makes a new friend on the Internet, appeared briefly on Whitlock's twitter feed, only to disappear moments later. Oh, Jason, u sound like a dream, too. [@WhitlockJason, h/t Pete Gaines]...

Shaun Rogers Almost Brings Loaded Gun Onto An Airplane
The Cleveland tackle was arrested at Hopkins International Airport today after he "forgot" that he had a loaded gun in his bag. Even worse, his shampoo bottle was well over four ounces. [Plain-Dealer/WOIO]...

Letter From Durham: Why You Shouldn't Hate Duke, And Why You Probably Will Anyway
The first game of Duke's season, against UNC-Greensboro on Nov. 13, was broadcast only on Fox Sports South, which meant that my friends up North had to wait another few days to get their initial glimpse of this year's team....

Gordie Howe Once Checked The Shit Out Of An 8-Year-Old
And it just happened to be William Clay Ford Jr. Call it the Gordie Howe grand slam - a goal, an assist, a fight, and one flattened prepubescent car dynasty scion. [NY Times]...

And Nike Officially Ruins April Fool's Day
CBSSports.com and ESPN.com are both running some amazing stories today. Every single one manages to discuss how the fantastic athletic feats were pulled off thanks to Nike Air shoes. We've come a long way from Sidd Finch's single hiking boot....

The Steve Phillips Redemption Timeline
AOL Fanhouse hired Steve Philips as their new baseball analyst, just 161 days after the world learned he had an affair with an ESPN underling. Is that some kind of record for morphing from sexual disgrace to professional respectability?...

In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...

The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....

Philadelphia Phillies: 10,000 Losses
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Philadelphia Phillies....

PETA Capitalizes On Clemens's Failure To Launch
PETA suggests that Roger Clemens's rumored performance issues are due to his carnivorous diet. Wonder if the grand jury will buy that one. [PETA via copyranter]...

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

Bernie Carbo Was Stoned Out Of His Gourd, All The Frickin' Time
The pinch-hit hero has found God, so he's coming clean about his playing career. Spoiler alert: it involved lots and lots of drugs....