a Page 7802 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Minor League Team Hands Out LeBron Championship Rings, And Yes, They're Non-Existent
You know you done goofed when they're making fun of you in Peoria. The Cubs single-A affiliate was planning on honoring the 1990s Chicago Bulls teams on Thursday night, but they decided on an additional giveaway....
Serena's Comeback Tally: One Win, One Smashed Racket, And Almost A Broken Nail
Serena Williams knocked off Tsvetana Pironkova in the first round at the Eastbourne Tennis Tournament today, 1-6, 6-3, 6-4. There were two very good signs in the scandal-stirrer's first return to professional tennis in over a year: the first was that she won, despite a rough first set, and the sec...
Holding Farts In And You!
Yesterday, I took my wife's clothes to the dry cleaners, an errand I ran for her without her asking me to do so. And when I do something benevolent like that, I expect full credit and reams of endless praise for being so considerate. So I came home and left the dry cleaning ticket right out in the o...
Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...
How I Tuned The Heartstrings For NBC Olympics Coverage
Ronda Rousey, in August of 2008, was 21 years old. Her home was Riverside County, California. When she was 14, she had named her new kitten Beijing because she was so certain she'd be there for the 2008 Games, as a judoka — like her mother, Dr. AnnMaria De Mars, who had been a world champion before ...
Charles Barkley Trashes The Miami Heat, Part 372: "God Is A Dallas Mavericks Fan"
Sir Charles keeps trolling, this time on both the Mike Lupica Show on ESPN 1050 and then on WIP Philadelphia with Howard Eskin and Ike Reese. There is nothing new here, because we've been listening to Barkley lambaste the Heat and especially Two of their Big Three on a regular basis for the past f...
Our Simple Guide To MLB Realignment, Or: Sorry Seattle, You're Losing Another Team
Do it geographically. Had to split up that raging Orioles/Nationals rivalry, but this is the easiest way to go. Oh, and I had to move the Mariners to Oklahoma City. I hope that doesn't bother anyone....
Canucks Fans Get Their Hearts Stomped In Realtime
As many away teams do when there's a chance to clinch (the Mavs did it), the Canucks hosted a viewing party for fans at Rogers Arena in Vancouver. NHL.com decided it would be a fun idea to set up a livecam to capture crowd reactions....
Far Too Late, Roberto Luongo Realized Depth Perception Was Important To Goalies
Your morning roundup for June 14, the day we wished our father didn't love old comedians. (Thanks to Andy for the screengrab.)...
Your Canucks/Bruins Game Six Open Thread (Body-Painted Canadians Edition)
These young ladies, evidently advertising Ke$ha's tour of Nunavut (I assume that's what glittermachine.ca must be) were outside the arena in Vancouver before game five. (They come to us via @Sportsfeeder1.)...
Dirk Nowitzki Dance Party!
Behold Dirk Nowitzki: America's favorite German, the NBA Finals MVP, the man who made being a mostly-unknown national hero look so easy, and the man who made a one-legged step-back jumper look even easier. But! We've unearthed one weakness. Dirk Nowitzki is a rather tortured booty-dropper....
Doctors Raise False Hopes In Largest-Ever Study Of Beer's Benefits For Athletes
Here's some bittersweet news from the world of beer. In the largest-ever study of its kind, research scientists have shown that the consumption of wheat beer has a positive effect on athletes' health, with one caveat: the study was conducted using non-alcoholic beer as the test beverage — a not-so-m...
The One With A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Selling Herself For Sex Parties On Craigslist
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...
Tim Donaghy On Game 6: Wandering Eyes
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...
Premature Jocularity At Home Plate Costs Would-Be Winners State
One young man thought he was coming home with the winning run in extra innings of a Connecticut State Championship. In his rush to celebrate, he missed touching home. His team would go on to lose....
Today In Very Canadian Headlines
Toronto's CTV News gives a generous headline to the original AP story: Mavericks win NBA title, knock off Bosh's Heat 105-95. [CTV; H/T Fark]...
Every Overwrought Thing Adrian Wojnarowski Has Said About LeBron James
Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski, like many of our nation's sportswriters, doesn't care for LeBron James. But Woj shows his distaste with a bit more pathos than that of the average hack. Here, in order of increasing floridness and delusion, are some choice LeBron-related quotes from November 2008 on....
Ohio's Legislative Dick Move: Mavs Honored For Taking Down LeBron
If you've ever wanted to see an entire state act like jealous toddler throwing someone else's toys, Ohio's got you covered. LeBron James, who spent years bringing money and excitement to Cleveland, and still does extensive charity work in Akron, didn't win at basketball. As a result, Ohio Governor J...
Elaine's Was A Dump, Or The Grantland Fallacy
ESPN's Professional Southerner Wright Thompson used his space in Grantland to write a loving meditation on Elaine's, the now-defunct bad New York restaurant mainly known to people under 45 as a Billy Joel lyric. This made Thompson at least the third member of his little circle of sportswriting buddi...
One Morning In Dirkland: A Game 6 Report From A Bar In Germany
DÜLMEN, Germany – One of the very, very few places to watch NBA basketball in the German city of Dülmen – or any neighboring city – is a bar called Wohlfühln, owned by a pair of German guys who care too much about American basketball. Last night, they were more busy than usual....