a Page 7824 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Erin Andrews Becomes A Star Who Someone Will Dance With
"Dancing With The Stars" announced that its lineup for next season will include America's Sideline Princess, because apparently all you have to do is ask and they'll let you on. It's a pretty good system ABC's got going on there....

Zinedine Zidane: Still Not Sorry About That Headbutt
Now that the Olympics are over it's time to concentrate on the next big international sporting event, the World Cup. So let's start by dredging up the last one and the headbutt that launched a thousand internet gags....

Say Hey, Wait A Minute
"Above all, the story of Willie Mays reminds us of a time when the only performance-enhancing drug was joy." So sayeth the great Pete Hamill, who is proof that baseball makes even brilliant writers sound like a Wonder Years voiceover....

Media's Annual "A-Rod Is A Distraction" Story Arrives Early This Year
The feds want to chat with Alex Rodriguez about his connections to Tiger Woods's blood-spinning quack, Tony Galea. It's March 1, and The New York Times is already concern-trolling about "repeated distractions" from Rodriguez. Sigh. [NYT]...

Tim Tebow At The Combine: A Revelation, Set To Iron Maiden
As you know, Tebow impressed at the NFL Scouting Combine, running the three-cone drill in a hell-blazing 6.66 seconds. (It's the second coming! Of Mike Alstott!) Here's video of Tebow's big day, set to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast."...

Russians Also Not Shy About Winning, Threatening Olympic Bureaucrats
Russia is taking a page out of the Canadian playbook by making it clear that they intend to dominate Sochi in 2014. They're also taking a page out of the Soviet playbook by issuing ominous warnings to their own people....

A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST: Zap The Kids!
Welcome to Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Email me your asshole boss story here....

New Mike And Mike Book "Enthralling," "Humanizes A Downtrodden, Long-Suffering People," Per Amazon
Either someone at Amazon is having a bit of sport with Fat Man and Little Boy's forthcoming Rules for Sports and Life, or the pair has written the definitive treatise on life in North Korea. [Amazon, see "Editorial Reviews"]...

Boston Red Sox: Team Of The Decade
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Boston Red Sox....

Hannah Storm Boot Watch, Day 42
Current Threat Level: Black, stiletto heel, paired with tasteful earth tones. Don't ask me to explain Bruce Bowen's tie, though. [via ESPN]...

Brandon Marshall Testifies In Williams Trial: "I Think About It Every Night"
Both Westword and the Denver Post have ongoing live blogs of the Darrent Williams murder trial, including Brandon Marshall's testimony on Friday that he may have "escalated" the confrontation between the Williams' party and the accused murderer. [Westword; Denver Post]...

My Roger Ebert Story
The first time I was ever published in a book was 1997. It was because I'd found Roger Ebert's email and asked him a question....

The Olympics Were Basically A Two-Week Freudian Therapy Session
NBC's final tally, via Slate's Sap-o-Meter: 107 combined mentions of "father" and "dad," 103 of "mother" and "mom," and 64 mentions of "dream" (the single sappiest word of these Games). How does that make you feel? [Slate]...

Canada Wins The Olympics
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians, who became the most successful Olympic hosts ever by not acting like a bunch of Canadians. Nice countries finish last, you know....

Ian Poulter Misses Birdie, Aces The Bird
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Canada Wins, But So Do You
Well, shit. How are you feeling? Gut punched? Broken? Just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up? Embrace it. It's a wonderful thing....

Not A Good Time To Be A Beer Vendor At The Game
Perhaps as karmic payback for all those times they announce "last call" when they know damn well there's another hour of beer sales left, the weekend has seen a pair of disasters for beer vendors....

Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch: Antichrist Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Beast....

Boston Radio Wars Get Stalkerish
Boston sports talk radio station the Sports Hub received so many obscene text messages from one phone, they red-flagged the number. The phone turned out to belong to a producer at rival - and ESPN Radio affiliate - WEEI. [Herald]...

Your USA-Canada Open Thread
To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments....