a Page 7845 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....

This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...

PRETTY BIRD! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Rey Maualuga Gets Head Start On Offseason With DUI
A Bengals player was arrested. Normally this is not news. What is news is that Maualuga was driving a 2003 Pontiac Sunfire....

Last Night's Winner: Nerds (STRIP CLUB UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks for whom the annual release of Baseball Prospectus's PECOTA projections is basically geek Christmas....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....

Miss Manners Says That's A Pur-Don't
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It's The Feud With A Combined ERA Over 5.00
Would a player intentionally suck to become a part of history? The pitcher who let Barry Bonds set the HR mark says no; his teammate says yes. Join us this week, on As The Nationals Turn....

High School Rink Pretty Much Cursed
In a game dedicated to a player who broke two vertebrae after going head-first into the glass last weekend...his teammate knocks himself unconscious going head-first into the boards. [Boston Globe]...

Three Words No NFLer Wants To Hear: Transgender Sodomy Lawsuit
Cornerback Eric Green, who's bounced around from practice squad to practice squad since being released by the Cardinals after last season, was hit with a lawsuit from a transgendered woman who claims Green forcibly sodomized her....

Donovan McNabb Joins The Psychic Friends Network
McNabb says he knows he'll be back in Philly next year, because his psychic told him so. She also predicted playoffs but no Super Bowl ring, though you don't need to be psychic to know that. [Philly Daily News]...

The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...

Marlins Find Hope In Long-Cancelled Star Trek Ripoff
In a 1993 episode of the surprisingly well-remembered show Seaquest DSV, Jonathan Brandis's character wears a Marlins 2010 World Champions jersey. Also, it predicted that talking dolphin would be sponsored by Sun Life. [Wezen-Ball]...

Chirpy Korean Girl Group Likes Glitter, Knee-Highs, Iowa Hawkeyes Football
Via the good lads at Black Heart Gold Pants comes this music video for which I have no words, other than to say that it is no more inexplicable than the last time women in Korea fawned over a Hawkeye....

Is Gilbert Arenas Crazy Like A Fox?
The odd thing about the announcement of Gilbert Arenas' season-ending suspension was the claim that he asked for it. Literally. Why would someone want to be suspended for a whole year? Obviously, he gets more money that way....

The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....

Paul Shirley Spits Out "A Reaction" To His Dipshit Haiti Column
"[M]y goal was to question the psychology of donating, the way we react to natural disasters and the nature of responsibility leading up to and immediately after[it]. Regardless of the outcry, [I] think I did [that]."...

Media Reveals Its Giant Penis Envy Of Greg Oden
Since Greg Oden apologized to the world for the cellphone dong shots, many sports columnists have had to suffer through actually writing about it. There were plenty of cautious, you-have-to-be-careful-these-days, newsy approaches. Others, chose to focus on their own shortcomings....

Super Bowl Subplot #3: A Pro Bowl Like No Other
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

TMZ Sports To Reveal Itself Come Springtime
According to a source close to the situation (read: had an interview with them), the much ballyhooed "TMZ Sports" site is slated to begin around mid-March. It will be a separate site, but not as tabloid-y as expected....