a Page 7850 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Chris Kluwe Says Vikings Will Control Their Bowels Against Saints
I'd like to see this drawn up on the chalkboard: "We'll have a plan that doesn't involve pooping our pants," Kluwe said, per the St. Paul Pioneer Press.[Via PFT]...

Today In TMZish Sports: The Search For The Identity Of Saints Sideboob Lady Gets Serious
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....

Last Night's Winner: No Comment
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers....

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Blogosphere Eats Itself Over Meyer's God Gambit
The fuss over Urban Meyer supposedly milking his illness and invoking God to land a prized recruit is exhibit No. one million in the case of why you never believe anything your read on the Internet....

Sean Salisbury Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest (Redux)
USA Today's Michael Hiestand has a story about Sean Salisbury you should read: "I was ashamed, and I didn't want to say anything," says Salisbury, who was an NFL quarterback for eight years and an ESPN NFL analyst for 12. "...

Glen Davis And The $25,000 Magic Words
For a Big Baby, Glen Davis sure knows a lot of grown-up words. (NSFW language, I guess)...

Tooth Fairy Turns To NHL Gold Mine
Flyers goon Ian Laperrière had seven replacement teeth stolen en route to tonight's game. This reminds me of a horrible dream I had about a stupid movie starring the Rock. What do you mean, that's a real thing? [via The700Level]...

Much More At Stake Than Super Bowl For Rex Ryan
Just got an email from Major League Eating president Rich Shea. If the Jets win Sunday, Eatapus Rex will get a seat in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. This is all the motivation Ryan needs. (Official invite below.)...

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....

Ferguson Jenkins Thinks Mark McGwire's Home Runs "Altered Lives"
Lots of people have leveled lots of charges at Mark McGwire over the last few years, but I'm not sure if any of them top the Fergie Jenkins theory that says McGwire ended pitchers' careers by taking them deep....

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

ESPN Ombudsman Ohlmeyer Blasts Alamo Bowl Coverage After Adam James Saga
"Was the telecast balanced? ESPN thinks it was — and for me, that is the most troubling aspect of this whole affair." [ESPN]...

On The Gentle Path, Too: A Dispatch From The Front Lines Of Sex Addiction
Anonymous, a porn addict, is a longtime Deadspin reader and commenter who will soon enter the same sex-rehabilitation facility where Tiger Woods is reportedly receiving treatment. Here, Anonymous explains his own addiction and why Tiger's treatment is no PR ploy....

Did The Jets' Official Store Just Jinx Itself Out Of Business?
Jets fans will surely sleep soundly knowing that their Super Bowl gear is bought and paid for before the AFC Championship game even begins. (They even changed their URL to include "champions.") Nothing can possiblie go wrong now! [JetsShop]...

The Triumvirate Of Misery. Your Championship Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Miguel Cabrera Is On The Wagon
"Cabrera said today that he hasn't had a drink since the well-publicized incident in the last week of the regular season that saw him taken into custody after a domestic-abuse complaint was filed by his wife."[Freep]...