a Page 7849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Open Thread: Texas-UConn, Arkansas-Kentucky, Oklahoma State-KSU, Duke-Clemson, Etc.
Last one of the day. Suggested topic for discussion: the incredible fact that West Georgia's athletics program used 119 ineligible athletes from 2004-09. Someone get these guys in Conference USA....

Mariano Rivera Has "Smooth And Luscious Man-Nips"
That's how TMZ describes the shirtless Yankee closer while he tropically vacations. Let's hope "Man-Nips" Rivera catches on as a nickname this year. [TMZ]...

Behind The Scenes Of The Classic "Nothin' But Net" Commercial
Larry Bird had to ask "What if I play you for it?" due to Jordan's gambling controversy. Per his contract, MJ could wear whatever he wanted and chose that awful Magic Eye-looking ensemble. And more great anecdotes via CNBC....

Open Thread: Ohio State-WVU, Kansas-Iowa State, Marquette-'Cuse, Longwood-Savannah State, Etc.
Possible topics for discussion: Evan Turner's 19-10-6 line, whether Andy Katz's prose reads like a Swedish-to-English Babelfish translation, Tyshawn Taylor's Facebook profile, the shock of learning that Lawrence Moten is the Big East's all-time leading scorer, the Morrill Land-Grant Acts....

BREAKING: NEW BURGER KING IN MIAMI WILL SERVE BEER
"At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99." This changes everything. [AP, via @jemelehill]...

Whites-Only Basketball League Promoter Is Determined To Make His Point. Badly.
Bomani Jones interviewed Don "Moose" Lewis, the brains behind the controversial all-white basketball league. Lewis does his best to explain how the league is not racist or segregated ("it's like a private club") but not very well. Fascinating stuff. [HardcoreSportsRadio]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Open Thread: Michigan State-Minnesota, 'Nova-St. John's, Rutgers-G'Town, Etc.
We'll do another of these at 2 p.m. and again at 4 p.m. Possible topic for discussion: the new Spartans logo that looks more or less like the old one but has made people very angry nonetheless....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Well, This Is Awkward: Maybe That <em>Isn't</em> Tiger Woods In Those Sex-Rehab Photos
My trust in the National Enquirer is unbounded, but X17 claims that these photographs, of a man who is not Tiger Woods sexlessly strolling the gentle paths of Pine Grove, show the same guy in the Enquirer's grainy photos....

Favre's Success Tears NFC North Apart
The Sun-Times says: "Go New Orleans, save us from Brett Favre!" The Tribune says: "Leave Brett Favre alone!" The Green Bay Press-Gazette could not be reached for comment, presumably having drank itself to death in the woods. [Sun-Times, Trib]...

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....

The One Where Jaimee Grubbs Banged Tiger For Haiti
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...

Prospect Leaves A's To Become Padre, Hopefully An Angel
Grant Desme, one of Oakland's top prospects, is quitting baseball to join the priesthood. Is life without sex really better than life without wins? One thing remains the same: he still doesn't have a shot in hell. [MLB]...

Bad Beats: Why Your Betting System Sucks
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Sportsmanship Fail: Up Big, Team Fouls To Reach 100
Houston's Yates High School 100-point streak was in jeopardy. So, comfortably ahead with three minutes left, they began fouling their humiliated opponents to get the ball back. This would be what James Naismith referred to as "a dick move."...

Who Dat? Ain't The Saints
The independent league St. Paul Saints will change their name to simply "The Paul" until after Sunday's NFC Championship. The Minnesota legislature is also in the process of de-canonizing Saint Brett. [Via Speedy McWeed]...

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....