a Page 7883 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Takes Two Fights, But Hockey Pugilists Finally Get It Right
Craig Rivet of the Sabres and Daniel Carcillo of the Flyers fought not once, but twice last night during Buffalo's 4-2 win. The first fight was mediocre and the Philly faithful made their feelings known with a lackluster, tepid response....

Ben Roethlisberger's Brain Deemed Unfit To Participate In NFL Game
Jay Glazer has reported that the Pittsburgh Steelers will pin their hopes on the right arm of Dennis Dixon for Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens after it was decided that Ben Roethlisberger won't play due to "exercise-induced headaches." [FoxSports]...

Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
Hopefully, the Clemson-South Carolina game doesn't take an ugly turn like it did in 2004 when a brawl broke out in the 4th quarter during Lou Holtz's last game as head coach of the Gamecocks. Or do we? Nah....

The New Jersey Nets Are Not Very Good At Basketball
The Nets are now sitting at 0-16 after losing to the Sacramento Kings 109-96 Friday night, leaving them one loss shy of tying the NBA record for season-opening futility, previously accomplished by the Heat (1988) and Clippers (1999)....

Ladies And Gentlemen, Allow Me To Present Your UFL Champions, The Las Vegas Locomotives
The Jim Fassel-coached Las Vegas Locomotives beat the Florida Tuskers 20-17 in overtime in front of 14,801 fans to claim the first UFL championship. And what a way to cap off a thrilling, pressure-packed UFL season. [Las Vegas Sun]...

So, Did Anything Interesting Happen Yesterday?
I made a promise to myself that after overindulging on everything on Thanksgiving, I was going to lay low yesterday. No television, no internet, just peace and quiet. It's not like anything interesting ever occurs on Black Friday, right? What?...

And Now TMZ Turns Tiger Woods Into Lionel Richie With One Fateful Post
Here we go: "Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident." And when he tried to get away......

Tiger Woods "Accident" Story Just Gets More Preposterous By The Hour
The AP chimes in with this update: "A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car." TMZ? More logical....

NFL Network Apologizes For Terrible Motherf@*^ing Mistake
The NFL Network takes you inside the game like no other broadcast entity can. Who else could get a shot of Josh McDaniels swearing at offensive lineman on the sideline, then broadcast it live and completely unedited? Absolutely no one....

The One With All Sorts Of Crap
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

And Jason Whitlock Asks The Question We've All Been Thinking About The Tiger Woods Accident...
"Based on Natl Enquirer story, do we suspect Pussy Galore played a role in Tiger's 2 a.m. dash from the crib?" On injuries: Darren Rovell reports his agent says "he's fine." Local mayor tells CNN Woods was released. [JasonWhitlock]...

Tiger Woods Seriously Injured In Car Crash (UPDATE)
Woods, driving his Cadillac Escalade, hit a fire hydrant and a tree near his home early this morning. He was taken to the hospital in serious condition. WESH-TV reports that he was treated for facial lacerations and released....

Be Thankful For Customized Jerseys
Let me begin by saying I have a new respect for those who send us blurry photos of crazy jerseys found at various sporting venues. It's hard to take a picture of a complete stranger without looking like a creep....

This Night Ended With A Brown Out
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings....

Beware The Don Juan Of The Trailer Park
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings....

BCS Is The Perfect System, Says BCS Website
Listen up, dummy. You probably think the BCS is a terrible way to determine a football champion, but that's because you're a moron. Your stupid playoff ideas are stupid and I know this because I read it on the INTERNET!...

Drinks Are Drank, Cleavage Flys And Everyone Was Blotto
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings....

Last Night's Winner: Your Stomach
Everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like anyone who had a brined turkey and tasty, tasty sweet potatoes yesterday. And was lucky enough to have leftovers today....

Allen Iverson To Retire. Unless He Doesn't.
Here's a journalism tip, kids. When the status of a developing story is still in doubt and you're having trouble deciding which angle to take with your coverage—just go with both. Seriously, it's Thanksgiving, so who cares?...

LAST PICKLE IN THE JAR! Your Thanksgiving Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....