a Page 7893 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Better Learn To Recognize Michigan's AD, Honey
Since picking on Rich Rodriguez has become a little too easy lately, here's a new plotline for Michigan mockers to pursue....athletic director Bill Martin reduced to pulling the "Do you know who I am?" routine in his own stadium....

The Clemson Women's Rowing Team About To Become Famous For All The Wrong Reasons
And that's...start again. And there's...no. Sigh. These poor girls. Nice win at the Hooch, though! [ClemsonTigers.cstv]...

Michael Phelps Wears "Old-Style" Swimsuit And Facial Hair, Suddenly Sucks
"Sporting a beard and an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third Tuesday at a World Cup short-course meet." [AP]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Refreshed And Resurrected Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering fertility, Thanksgiving, Project Runway, NSFW warnings, and more....

A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....

Bill Simmons, Establishment
For those of who have seen his popularity swell into the stratosphere the last few years, it wasn't a surprise to see Bill Simmons atop the bestseller list. But it should have been....

I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...

Marat Safin Says Agassi Is "Stupid", Should "Shut Up"
Tennis-playing dude Marat Safin isn't exactly broken up over revelations that fellow competitor Andre Agassi was addicted to crank. If he feels so bad about it now, Safin says, then why not give back all that money he didn't win?...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Has Rare Form Of Leukemia
Tell your old man to drag chronic myeloid leukemia up and down the floor for the last year. The good news is that Kareem got a sponsorship deal with the company that makes his medication, so free drugs! [NYTimes/ESPN]...

He'll Never Be Banned From The Gambling Hall of Fame
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Desperate Redskins Fans Export Angry Sign Holding Jobs
Since Generalissimo Snyder has banned all forms of public expression with his eyesight, Washington fans who wished to mock him were forced to drive to Atlanta just to put bags over their head and look sad....

Hey, Look At That! It's College Basketball Season!
Funny how it sneaks up on you, huh? The regular season begins in fitting fashion tonight as the defending champs take on Isiah Thomas in a game he didn't want to coach and no one else wants to watch. Beautiful....

The Handwringing Over Jeremy Tyler's Foreign Adventure Has Begun
Jeremy Tyler left high school to play professionally in the Holy Land, where the plan was to do a credible Kevin Garnett impression and expose the folly of the minimum-age rule. The plan was not to play like Oliver Miller....

Memphis Football Coach Thinks Memphis Maybe Shouldn't Have A Football Team
This is why you generally don't let the coach that you just fired hold a press conference to tell everyone why your school sucks so much. "Help this football program....or do away with it." [MyFoxMemphis, via OnlineSportsGuys]...

Stephen A. Smith's Return To Print Is Imminent?
After messy arbitration hearings with the Philadelphia Inquirer, it appears the beleaguered paper will announce the unwelcome return of ALL CAPS column-writing. Yes, Stephen A. will be "back on staff" again very, very soon, sources say. Sock? Still retired....

<em>Boston Herald</em> Loves Hometown Sports Fella For His Zaniness
I guess Simmons is searching for the stock Reilly®-esque friendly choke-fight pose during this book tour to better showcase his personality. He calls this one "wacky lobster clawed stroke victim." [BH]...

Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....

Kiss Dick Bavetta Goodbye?
Bavetta, the Barkley-kissing ref suspected of involvement in pretty much every conspiracy dating back to the assassination of Caesar, says he might retire at season's end. At least, that's what David Stern told him to say. [Orlando Sentinel, via Slam]...

Jenn Sterger Says Goodbye To Some Old Friends
"In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam, I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants." Courage, America. Courage. [Officially...Jenn]...