a Page 7901 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Top Story This Morning: Holy Crap, The Umps Got One Right
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cyclist Gives Surprisingly Plausible Drug Excuse
Belgian Tom Boonen, on his positive test: "I was very drunk. I do not know what happened, but the next day I tested positive for cocaine." [Cyclingnews]...

UFL Actively And Proudly Destroying Letters From Fans
So the fledgling league may not have many fans. Fine. But you'd at least expect them to want to hear what those fans have to say, instead of eradicating feedback Mission Impossible style....

Tim Wakefield's Wife Is Dog Chow
A judge has sentenced a Boston-area mastiff to death after it bit Stacey Wakefield at an art gallery. Maybe it didn't like playing fetch with a knuckleballer. [Globe]...

We've Got A Rogue Hogette On The Loose
You know about the Redskins' porcine cross-dressers' club. But did you know they're very exclusive? This is the strangest Redskins story you'll read all...day. Maybe....

2009 World Series, Game One: It Begins
It's time to start the Greatest World Series Matchup Ever Imagined. Unless you hate the Yankees. Or the Phillies. Or Derek Jeter. Or if you're from Cleveland. But everyone else is going to love it....

I-TEAM Assemble! Assignment: Sports Fella
Going to the Bill Simmons book signing in NYC tonight? Pictures, stories, and other nonsense welcome. We'd do it ourselves, but ... um. Yeah. [Photo via]...

Excerpts From The Book The NBA Doesn't Want You To Read
As promised earlier, here are a handful of excerpts from David Stern's favorite book, Blowing the Whistle, by Tim Donaghy....

Now You Can Make Money On ESPN's Sexcapades
Online gambling house Bookmaker.com has a prop bet on the "Next ESPN Personality Involved In A Sex Scandal." I'd go big on the underdog. Just sayin'. Despicably. [Bookmaker.com]...

Congress Gets Involved In Concussion Debate, Fails To Solve Everything
Goodell, along with NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith and other people in suits, was grilled by the House Judiciary Committee about all this stuff they've been hearing about "concussions" and "permanent brain damage." The Commish talked a great deal about all the many things the league is doing—rule chan...

The Book The NBA Doesn't Want You To Read
We've obtained a copy of Tim Donaghy's book, Blowing the Whistle, which purports to expose the NBA's "culture of fraud" and which Random House was set to publish next month — until, a source says, the league threatened to sue....

Two Best Words in the English Language: Bacon Deluxe
Everything is better with bacon. You know this, we know this, and Wendy's® knows this. So they created the NEW Bacon Deluxe: beef, cheese, lettuce & tomato with four—that's right, four—thick slices of Applewood smoked bacon. Who's hungry?...

Olympic Pothead Is Now High On Civil Service
Ross Rebagliati—everyone's favorite dope smoking Olympic snowboarder—is running for a seat in Canada's parliament. You see, in Canada, election districts are called "ridings" and he probably just got confused because he was so freakin' high. [CTV/Victoria Times]...

Football-Talking Person Shaun King "Let Go" By Tumultuous Company In Bristol
Apparently, this had nothing to do with him getting handsy with the wrong people either. Strictly for "performance" reasons, ESPN snitches say. Bully for Shaun....

The Affable Peter King Joins Us For A Very Special Live Chat Tomorrow
Yeah. Really. At 1 p.m. tomorrow, Mr. King will dive into the commenting abyss to answer your MMQ book-related questions, respond to your taunts and share some Starbucks-infused football wisdom. Come for the chaos and watch Drew possibly get banned....

The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit....

Smarty Pants Web Mag Goes A Little Laddy With "Baseball's Sexiest Teammates"
Here's a gallery-friendly rundown of baseball's best WAGs by position. For example: your pitching staff for this squad would trot out Ann Margret, Alyssa Milano, and Mamie Van Doren. [Daily Beast]...

Hockey Players Love The Feel Of Ice On Bare Skin
A junior hockey team in Idaho was banned from the local rink after imitating their NHL idols and holding their own "strip shootout." I guess if the Tampa Bay Lightning jumped off a bridge, you would do that too? [WSOCTV]...

World Series Omens Yankee Fans Don't Want To See
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Statistical Proof Of Baseball's Strangest Season Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....