a Page 7922 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...

Step Right Up, Gobias Some Coffey
You got 13 picks right in the Deadspin Pants Party Pool. You get a free 100-word rant in the Jamboroo next week. Good work, Coffey. If you haven't entered the Pants Party Pool, you still can. So move it....

Lucky ESPN Employees Can Feast On The Invaluable Wisdom Of Larry King
According to a memo released to ESPN employees, CNN's gargoyle-shouldered talk show host will stop by Bristol's campus on September 23rd to share some of his news industry experience and promote his book....

NBA Players Will Have To Call Their Own From Now On (UPDATE)
Here's a tip for the NBA referee's union. When negotiating for better benefits and more job security, try to avoid bargaining from the position of being the most hated and least respected workforce in America....

Dunta Robinson's Shoes Demand Payment
In a classic Rod Tidwell move, The Texans' CB wrote "Pay me, Rick" with sharpie on his cleats. "Rick"[Smith]—the Texans GM—fined Dunta (yes, "Dunta") $25,000 for "conduct detrimental to the team". Daaaamn Rick! [ESPN]...

Jacory Harris Breaks Out The Pink Suit And Pimp Cup
Ready for wild, uneducated declarations? Miami quarterback Jacory Harris will be the #1 pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. He'll be just like JaMarcus Russell, only he'll be good instead of grossly obese....

Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...

Hair Boy and Copper Girl Fight For Airtime Supremacy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

It's Bizarro Phillies Dad!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

How NHL 10 Explains The Real Thing
A sample: "Players can now snatch a puck out of the air with their glove hand (note: feature does not apply to Andrew Raycroft)." Don't say we never did anything for you, hockey fans. [Down Goes Brown]...

This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...

LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...

I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...

Bustin' Ass
It's been awhile since we last brought you a photo of a terrified adolescent mutton-buster being tossed about by an unsettlingly placid-looking sheep. Our apologies....

Michael Jordan Has Some Crap He Wants To Sell You
Yes, MJ's holding an auction. Just because we're in a recession doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself to a $1,500 used pair of shorts or a $1,000 golf ball every now and then. [NBC Chicago]...

The Learning Curve: Herm's Perm
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...

Mark Grace And This Tramp-Stamped Bartender Have Apparently Met
Mark Grace is the type of ex-athlete Kevin Costner wishes he could play in movies but just can't because he's Kevin Costner. Hugging Harold Reynolds uncovered a story about Grace that, if true, enhances his reputation as baseball's patron rogue....

The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....

Does The World Need Cheerleaders?
The answer, of course, is "Yes." But why should that be so? Do we really need leaders to organize our cheers? Do basket tosses contribute to victory? Or is it that you can see ladies' underwear without being consider pervy?...