a Page 7923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mouthcurtains and Fake Gusgasms. Jamboroo, Week 2.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Young College QBs Beleaguered By Crazy Fans With Cell Phones And Internet Access
The nation's paper of record did a terrifying feature about the downside of being a high profile college quarterback and the deadly pitfalls the new media era of Twitter, Facebook, and, ahem, Deadspin....
Buffalo Columnist Outraged By T.O.'s Good Behavior
The Buffalo sports media can't wait to blast Terrell Owens for shooting his mouth off to reporters—only he hasn't done that yet, so they'll just have to blast him for being polite instead. Wait — what?...
The Charles Rogers Comeback Hits Another Snag
The former Spartan/Lion was found slumped over in his Mercedes—which was running and still in gear—and was arrested for DUI last night. Or DU Parking. Clearly, he was too drunk to be drunk driving. [Fox]...
Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work
Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN]...
Cowboys Could Set Attendance Record, Still Get Blacked Out
The Cowboys have sold over 20,000 standing-room tickets for their official stadium opener Sunday and have a shot to break the NFL attendance record....if only they can can convince a few people to buy actual seats....
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tim Tebow To Remain In Florida The Rest Of His Natural Life?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The White Supremacist Plot To Bring Down The NFL
The KKK is getting more sophisticated. They've got public relations people, political candidates, and now...computer geeks planning to disrupt NFL games by jamming quarterbacks' helmet radios....
This Man Is Truly Living The Dream
After hitting the Powerball jackpot, Jay Vargas — aka J.V. Rich — used his winnings to start Wrestlicious, a pro wrestling/sketch comedy show featuring only women in bikinis. Actually, that's a better idea than some crap college fund. [WTSP]...
Floyd Mayweather Doesn't Believe In A Postracial America Either
Mayweather is going to get paid $5 million for his fight Saturday night, but he's a little unhappy with his treatment by the media and public. Dropping the N-bomb four times in four sentences unhappy....
You Are Now Officially Less Of A Man
This woman took down an 11-foot alligator with a crossbow. I can only assume she proceeded to tear its still-beating heart out of its chest with her teeth. [LA Times]...
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....
Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...
Adrian Peterwho?
Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."...
The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....
"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....