a Page 8248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....

Why Your Team Sucks: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

The SEC Would Prefer That You Not Mention SEC Games To Anyone
America's fastest conference is developing a new "media policy" that severely restricts how much audio, video and "blogs," reporters can dish out during live games. (Hint: Not much.) Oh, and fans in the seats are subject to the policy too....

Brendan Haywood Thinks Stephon Marbury May Have A Touch Of Scary Gayness
Or, as he put it, "swinging from both sides of the fence", which is what the Wiz center concluded after he watched some of Marbury's ridiculous live-streaming marathons from a couple weeks ago....

Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....

Josh Hamilton's Divine Inspiration Pays Off
Since the photos of his Tempe whip cream party were unveiled, the Rangers outfielder is hitting .542 and making sure his foul balls land in the hands of good little boys. [Yahoo!/Busted Coverage]...

Vancouver, On The Rocks
John Branch of The New York Times filed not one, but two stories about ice this weekend. Apparently, the Winter Olympics needs a lot of it, and not just in their Scotch. [NYT]...

Tiger Woods: Golf's Newest Choke Artist
Someone actually had the nerve to ask Tiger Woods—on Saturday—if he'd ever come close to choking in a major. 14 for 14 when leading the final round. So congratulations, anonymous jinxer. You won the weekend....

Nick Saban Signs Infant To Letter Of Intent
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Joakimpalooza Festival Will Be Coming To A City Near You
We showed you a couple of photographs of dirty hippie Joakim Noah popping up at last weekend's Lollapalooza festival and it appears that he was friendly to pretty much everyone he came in contact with during the three-day event....

Tiger Yang. Y.E. Woods. PGA Championship Open Thread
Tiger's on the verge of bed-shitting but there's still time for him to make adjustments and continue to humble and humiliate all comers. [PGA] (Photo: WUP)...

Stephon Marbury Will Continue To Smoke Pot While He's Unemployed, Thank You
"I'm not under contract … I smoke weed occasionally. … I'm not driving … I'm following the rules." His agent must love him. [NYP]...

Those Troublesome Reid Boys Are What Brought Mike Vick To Philly
Andy Reid's family drama was once completely off-limits to the press, but now that his sons Garrett and Britt have been (supposedly) rehabilitated, they've taught Coach Andy that second chances are part of his own personal journey....

Gina Carano Gets Pummeled By Cyborg Woman
The most popular woman in MMA received an efficient ass-kicking last evening, which, some say, is the worst thing that could happen to female mixed martial arts. You know what lady MMA needs? Kimbo. [WatchKalibRun]...

And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart
Deadspin's fondness for Pat Jordan's writing is well documented and it's always a good day when he publishes something new. But his latest piece for Men's Journal is a bit of a departure from his usual chest-thumping....

GOP Is The Preferred Party Of Most Ex-NFLers
Congressman J.C. Watts opines: "The values that Republicans espouse in terms of capitalism, free enterprise, responsibility, working hard, sacrifice and commitment – that message probably resonates with the majority of athletes a lot more."[Politico.com]...

Meet The Yankee Mean Girls
Laura Posada. Karen Burnett. Amber Sabathia. Michelle Damon. Leigh Teixeira. These are the Yankee wives the NY Post declares are the most popular and powerful of the Bronx Bombshells. Road beef beware....

Mets Dream Season Continues
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Yes, Please Help The Mighty FJM
"FJM fans: we're editing Deadspin Sep. 16 and need articles to fisk. Please send links to my firejoemorgan.com email address."[KenTremendousTwitter]...