a Page 8262 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...

Birmingham's Fake Basketball Tournament Causes International Incident
Venezuela's national basketball team flew all the way to Alabama to participate in an international tournament, only to discover they were the only international team there. Also, the "tournament" was just one game. You've done it again, Birmingham, Alabama....

Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Beckham Experiment" (With Live Author Chat)
So here's something new for a humid Wendesday afternoon. Grant Wahl, author of "The Beckham Experiment", has volunteered to be our scared guinea pig for a live chat in the comments section. An explanation below....

Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...

Starred Commenter Theater: Water Polo Roughhousing
Show your open caption abilities, please. [A Hungarian water polo player, right, and his Serbian opponent in the quarterfinals of the world championships in Rome; image via European Pressphoto Agency via NYT]...

Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....

It's The Year Of The Booger Pick
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Some Wishful Thinking At The Dotcom Tonight
Favre passes? First Jim Johnson, now this? O cruel football gods! Wait, it's just a terrible headline? And Brett's alive, but definitely still retired? Thank you, football gods! [H/T reader Seth]...

College Recruiting About To Get A Lot More Complicated
Forget the fact that it's James Madison University vs. Marist. A dispute over a departed coach bringing previously recruited players to his new school has led to one of the oddest lawsuits in college sports....

Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...

Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....

Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....

Golfer Wins First LPGA Event, Honor Of Being Molested By Frenchmen
Congratulations to Evian Masters winner Ai Miyazato, whose reward is this unsettling photographic commentary on the French libido, golf's patriarchy, modern Orientalism and the staggering inability of women's golf to devise a trophy that doesn't seem vaguely cocklike....

FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...

Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....

Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...

The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....
