about Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the topless news ... • NBA: The crowd down at Cheers are still celebrating this one ... except for Norm, who's in the crapper. Celtics 97, Cavaliers 92. • NHL: Bow before our flightless, herring-breathed overlords. Penguins 6, Flyers 0. • Auto racing: I misunderstood ....
About Last Night
What you missed while checking out the Icelandic Phallological Museum... • MLB: Boston is back within a few percentage points of the Rays following a day/night sweep of the Brewers. • Cars: Kasey Kahne backed into NASCAR's All-Star race via fan voting and then won the whole damn thing. Fans are smar...
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting... • MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk. • NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible ...
About Last Night
What you missed while eating your $100 cheesesteak ... • NBA: Manu the Hour ... Ginobli's 25 points lead Spurs' rout of Hornets, force game 7 in New Orleans. That should be fun, eh? • MLB: No matter where you try to hide pitcher Jason Isringhausen, someone's bound to find him. Pirates 11, Cardinals ...
About Last Night
What you missed while plotting to catch the roadrunner in a perfect storm of ACME mayhem ... • MLB: The Adventures of Robinson Cano ... Yankees strike back, end Rays' win streak. • NBA: Kevin Garnett really does prefer those home uniforms. Celtics 96, Cavaliers 89. • NHL: Stars alive!...
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to figure out exactly what this guy did wrong ... • NBA: Jameer Nelson's prediction comes true; except for the part about the Magic winning. Detroit advances to sixth consecutive Eastern Conference Finals. • NHL: Penguins win 4-1 to set up dramatic four-game playoff come...
About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...
Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...
About Last Night
What you missed while stocking up on healthy snacks ... • NBA: Cavaliers summon Iron Man after Celtics take 2-0 series lead. • NHL: Hot Wings to go ... Detroit wins series opener over Stars. • MLB: Don't try it, he's got the high ground ... O's 6-foot-9 Daniel Cabrera tames the Royals....
About Last Night
What you missed while shooting your father in the butt ... • NBA: Utah Jazz urged to quit race so that the Lakers can concentrate on John McCain. • MLB: Polanco vs. Papelbon = Tigers 10, Red Sox 9. • NFL: Patriots submit tapes to league, but there's an 18-minute gap....
About Last Night
What you missed while at a stop sign ... • NBA: LeBron makes two key baskets against Celtics. Unfortunately, he missed his other 16 shots. Boston 76, Cleveland 72. • MLB: Diamondbacks' Randy Johnson somehow gets all of his surgically enhanced body parts to work in unision to earn 6-4 win over Philli...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that Mongo just pawn in game of life ... • NBA: I can't deny it, and I just can't hide it. I think I have Hornets Fever. • MLB: Albert Pujols and Lou Brock ... pretty much the same guy. Cardinals 6, Rockies 5. • Hockey: How many times to I have to say it: Don't $#!% w...
About Last Night
What you missed while mourning another tragic Civil War casualty ... • NHL: *Yawn!* Is the Stars-Sharks game over yet? • MLB: Maddux vows to win No. 350 before the next appearance of comet Hale-Bopp. • NBA: Confused Jazz discover that hack-a-Kobe strategy does not work. Los Angeles 109, Utah 98....
About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...
About Last Night
What you missed while wondering if Tim Donaghy was so bad after all... • NBA: The Cavs knocked the Wizards out of the playoffs, and I don't really want to talk about it right now. • Boxing: Andre Dirrell got his balls back, and remained undefeated, with a stylish stoppage over Anthony Hanshaw. More ...
About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight preoccupation with porn ... • MLB: A.J. Burnett provides Canada some good news for a change. Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 0. • NBA: Kevin Durant wins NBA Rookie of the Year award. Seattle sues to keep trophy from moving to Oklahoma City. • NHL: Rangers postpone the inevitable...
About Last Night
What you missed while being violated by a marsupial ... • NBA: Celtics downgrade emergency to Defcon 5, head to Atlanta with 3-2 series lead. • NHL: Flyers avenge Rocky statue desecration, take 3-1 series lead on Montreal. • MLB: Santana dominates — no, the other one — as Angels beat Athletics to fi...
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to make sense of a world in which Jan Brady is 50 years old ... • NBA: All those who had Suns vs. Mavericks in the second round of the playoffs, please put down your pencils and exit the room quietly. • NHL: All those who had the Avalanche advancing to the ... oh, forget...
About Last Night
What you missed while closely examining the upholstery ... • NHL: Take that, Canada ... Flyers use second-period heroics to take 2-1 series lead over Montreal. • NBA: Larry Brown is back, this time coaching the Bobcats. You'd think that this is the one story that Larry Brown Sports would be all over...