abr Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Because Shaking Hands With Brian Scalabrine Is A Total Jinx
Scalabrine, the red-headed bench warmer, never gets to join in any reindeer games. Maybe it was the Clark Griswold lounge-cruising footwear that caused Tony Allen and Big Baby Davis to just blatantly ignore him. (H/T MK Migraine) [YouTube]...
Gabrielle Union Got It On In Front Of Dwyane Wade's Kids
That's according to a lawsuit filed by Wade's estranged wife, which he calls "baseless." Because, c'mon, who hasn't had stepmom fantasies about Gabrielle Union? Wait, what was I talking about?...
Last Night's Winner: The Dogged Efforts To Prove Dez Bryant's Mom Is A Sinner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Karacter Kops determined to prove that the mother of a newly minted professional football player is, while not a hooker, still a very bad person....
Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....
Atlanta Cop Takes A Swing At Braves Fan
Some drunk fans decided to mess with a Fulton County cop's motorcycle outside Turner Field after Saturday's game. He responded with a fist and a Taser threat, and they responded with drunk sincerity. The deputy is under investigation....
Confirmed: Terrence Austin May Or May Not Be An NFL Draft Prospect
I bet I know what you're thinking right now. What NFL team will draft UCLA's 2nd all-time yardage leader, Terrence Austin? I was right, wasn't I? Thanks to this bizarre, sort-of-informative press release I cannot now give you the answer!...
Lou Piniella Bawls Out With His Balls Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Tailpipe: "Like A Warrior In Battle. Hubba Hubba."
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....
This Is What A Young Atlanta Braves Pitcher Looks Like When He's Busted For Soliciting Imaginary Hookers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Autistic Kid's Perfect NCAA Bracket Can Easily Be Faked
No one is calling 17-year-old Alex Hermann a liar, but CBS Sports' "Bracket Manager" does make it impossible to verify that he correctly called all 48 NCAA tournament winners—and also makes it easy to forge a perfect score....
Atlanta Braves: The Man Who Wasn't There
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Atlanta Braves....
Tailpipe: "I Bet You'd Like A Three-Breasted Woman"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Eric Hinske Some Kind Of Circus Freakshow Now
Two years of work and $5000 later, the well-traveled utilityman finally completed...something. "[He] said there is no special significance to the design," but I'm pretty sure he's now officially Yakuza. [AJC]...
Ryan Miller: Party Animal
This should cheer you up. While visiting San Jose, the Buffalo Sabres were booked in the same hotel as a furry convention. (That happens a lot, apparently.) [Thanks to Chris B. for the photo.]...
Miguel Cabrera Is On The Wagon
"Cabrera said today that he hasn't had a drink since the well-publicized incident in the last week of the regular season that saw him taken into custody after a domestic-abuse complaint was filed by his wife."[Freep]...
"Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Guy Dies On Sadly Appropriate Day Of The Week
Jan Gabriel, the motorsports announcer and demolition-derby promoter whose commercials gave us the immortal "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" phrase, died of kidney disease on Sunday. [chitownradio.com, jancgabriel.com]...
The Worst Bowl Game In The World (2009 Edition)
Are you busy this afternoon? Probably, because you have a life. However, if you're unemployed or otherwise indigent, get out your scraper because we've reached the very bottom of the college sports barrel. It's time for the EagleBank Bowl!...
Chip Caray Lines A Base Hit, Scores A New Job
Don't fret, Braves fans! Recently fired Chip Caray will be your play-by-play man for Fox Sports South this season. Said Joe Simpson, his booth partner-in-crime: "I hope the Braves' fans will be as excited as I am." [AJC/Suss]...