abr Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USC Beats UCLA, But Schools Tie For First In Jackassery
"Beat SC Week" (or "Troy Week," depending on your affiliation) started off with a bang, but the game would have ended with a whimper — had Rick Neuheisel and Pete Carroll not acted like petulant brats, nearly precipitating a brawl....

It Takes Two Fights, But Hockey Pugilists Finally Get It Right
Craig Rivet of the Sabres and Daniel Carcillo of the Flyers fought not once, but twice last night during Buffalo's 4-2 win. The first fight was mediocre and the Philly faithful made their feelings known with a lackluster, tepid response....

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...

Mina Brees' Death Ruled A Suicide
Drew Brees' mother died three months ago at the home of a friend in northern Colorado. A coroner now says she killed herself by ingesting "a large quantity of prescription medications." [Austin American-Statesman]...

ESPN Horndog Dossier: The Glossary And Denouement (JED DRAKE UPDATE)
We'll end this scandal-ridden ride on the back of the scorpion with a more general story about the behavior many ESPN employees past and present engage in as part of the "travel" crew. And where's there's road, there is beef....

ESPN Horndog Dossier: Kate Lacey
Who? Exactly. Lacey, SVP of Marketing for ESPN, was a popular subject in our tips box dating back to last year. Why? Why do people despise this woman so much?...

ESPN Horndog Dossier: Erik Kuselias (UPDATED)
Who? Right. Exactly. But Mr. Kuselias, as tiny an orb as he may be in the ESPN galaxy, has solidified his reputation as "the biggest douchebag in the place," according to multiple sources. But what about that sex-harassment thing?...

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...

Yep. That Guy Is Unconscious
In case you missed it, here is super middleweight Jermain Taylor getting knocked the eff out with 15 seconds left in his fight against Arthur Abraham on Saturday. WHY ARE YOU EVEN COUNTING? Get the man some help! [BSO/ESPN]...

Oilers' Souray None Too Pleased With Ex's 'Erotic Revue'
I'm not sure, but I think this might be the first time we've linked to a Robin Leach story....

Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....

Twins Add One More Insult To Injury
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Nicaragua's About To Get Some New Tigers Gear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Even The Aflac Duck Has It Out For The Mets
Since we won't have them to kick around in October, let's dump this here. [Via]...

The 911 Call From This Weekend's Cabrera Scuffle
It's quite disturbing. Not OH MY GOD MY FRIEND'S FACE IS BEING EATEN BY A MONKEY-disturbing, but still pretty creepy. And, surprise, the Tigers warned Miggy about his boozing back in August. [TheBigLead]...

Miguel Cabrera's Lost Weekend
Oh, and if the Tigers' weekend wasn't bad enough already—those unexplained marks on Miguel Cabrera's face? There's an explanation all right and it isn't pretty. Domestic dispute. Alcohol. Cops. Fraternizing with the enemy. Oh, Miggy.......

Baseball And Steroids: Corporate Synergy!
The company that owns the Braves is selling steroids over the Internet. That's what we in the business call "centralized distribution." [AJC]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Turner Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Atlanta Braves' Turner Field. Photo by Charlie Morn....

I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...