abr Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Needs An Immigration Wall When You Have Chipper Jones?
The Atlanta Braves third baseman is an avid hunter and since his home rests on a tract of land near the Mexican border, he often encounters many of brave illegal immigrants stealthily en route to a better way of life....
Why Do Japanese People Squint?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a theory. Something to do with the sun always being in their eyes? That's why its on the flag right?...
Chipper Jones' Death Ranch Claims Another Victim
A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution]...
Mina Brees Died As She Lived: Inexplicably
Drew Brees' estranged mother died last week in Colorado, though as of yet it's not known when, how or where exactly....
Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....
Look! It's Godzilla's Helmet!
"He was in great humor, which is always when he's the best, most likable Alex," Selena Roberts wrote in A-Rod. And that was before he turned a helmet into a wedding bouquet and himself into a desperate bachelorette....
So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....
Braves Reliever Breaks Hand On Door, Pops Bone Back In, Pitches 7th, Needs Surgery, Apologizes
"I'm ashamed of myself.This is a professional sport; you handle yourself in a professional manner. I didn't do that. … I'm just hopeful that Bobby and Frank will give me another chance." [SBB/AJC]...
Why Twitter Is More Fun The Less You Use It
I started my Twitter account while sitting in the Twitter offices in San Francisco, interviewing Twitter head honchos Evan Williams and Biz Stone for this big feature story. I didn't know what Twitter was, though people thought I did....
Female Basketball Stars Hate Age Rules, Too
Epiphanny Prince, who briefly made people care about high school girls basketball when she scored 2,493 points in a game, now plans to leave Rutgers early and play abroad, just like the boys. We got next! In Krakow!...
Would You Like To Buy A Car From Ed O'Bannon?
This is an interesting Sunday profile of former UCLA star Ed O'Bannon. Interesting, because you could probably substitute "Ed O'Bannon" for the name of any athlete coming to terms with his fading glory and it's pretty much the same article....
Now Batting Cleanup For Your Atlanta Braves: Barbaro
He is risen. Barbaro Canizares is his name. The Braves just called him up from Triple-A Gwinnett, and he's hitting behind Chipper Jones at this very moment. At the plate, he is, by all accounts, a stud....
Is This The End Of Tom Glavine?
Tommy Glavine was all set to make his major league debut this season, after fully rehabbing from offseason surgery and throwing 11 straight shutout innings in the minors—right before the Braves said, "Thanks, but no thanks."...
Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...
A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....
Masters Of Puppets I'm Pulling Your Strings
Barring a miraculous Tiger comeback or something extraordinary like Augusta being overtaken by Somali pirates, you can consider this the last post of the day on Easter Sunday. It's your Easter DUAN....
Finally ... Baseball Will Save Us All!
Thank goodness it's here. It's been a rough 2009 so far, but it is finally time for the baseball season to arrive and soothe our weary souls....
Findlay, Ohio Now The Nexus Of The Basketball Universe
Tyler Evans hits a 3-pointer at the buzzer, while falling down, to give Findlay a 56-53 win over Cal Poly Pomona for the Division II men's championship. Go Oilers!...