ac Page 630 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Cardinals TE Ricky Seals-Jones Arrested After Hotel Refuses To Let Him Go To The Bathroom
Arizona Cardinals tight end Ricky Seals-Jones was reportedly arrested by Scottsdale Police over the weekend and charged with assault, disorderly conduct, and criminal trespassing. From the information available, the arrest happened for a very dumb reason: He really had to go to the bathroom....
Cardinals GM Steve Keim Suspended For Five Weeks, Fined $200,000 After Pleading Guilty To Extreme DUI
The Arizona Cardinals announced Tuesday that general manager Steve Keim has been suspended for five weeks and fined $200,000 for driving under the influence the night of July 4, when he was arrested at a checkpoint in Chandler, Arizona with a blood alcohol level of 0.193, more than twice the legal l...
Jacob DeGrom Deserves Better Than To Be Left Hanging By The Mets
Mets ace and two-time All-Star Jacob deGrom, who also has MLB’s lowest ERA by more than half a run, sent out a message yesterday, through his agent, expressing his desire to remain a Met long-term, but only if they reciprocate that sentiment and pay him accordingly. This, courtesy of Ken Rosenthal, ...
Ex-NFLer Colton Underwood Learns The Rules Of The <i>Bachelorette</i> Fantasy Suite Fuck, Gets Sent Home
Team, it’s been a good run. Well, actually, it’s been a run full of trials and tribulations. Quite frankly, I had higher hopes for us. But part of being a good coach is knowing when to accept defeat and that’s what happened during Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, in which Colton—former NF...
My 84-Year-Old Neighbor Has The Only Good NBA Takes
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Iris Clawson, who turns 85 this year, loves at least three things in life: puzzles, westerns, and the National Basketball Association. “Every night I turn on the TV to see if there are any games,” she says, and during the regular season she watches five or six a week....
A Very Depressing NBA Trade
The Sacramento Kings selected Ben McLemore out of the University of Kansas with the seventh overall pick in the 2013 draft. It was a surprise he’d fallen that far, and the Kings were very glad to have him. “Ben McLemore was our dream choice from the get-go,” owner Vivek Ranadivé said after the draft...
Watch This Weird Old Japanese Home Run Derby Featuring Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, And Bernie Williams
MLB’s single-elimination bracket format has revitalized the Home Run Derby—last night ruled—but can we do even better? As with game shows, the Japanese remain light years ahead of us in Home Run Derby technology....
Barstool Sports Hires Old Weirdo To Make Racist Jokes
Barstool Sports recently hired Michael McCarthy, who ran a site called TakeAReport.com back in the early days of blogging. Then a VP at Citigroup, McCarthy used the site to pseudonymously share musings such as, “Although I’m pretty sure you don’t condone the drugging and subsequent raping of female ...
Papa John Has Regrets
John “Papa John” Schnatter is sorry ... sorry he resigned as Papa John’s chairman, you cowards!...
All The Controversy In The World Can't Stop NFL Revenue From Hitting A New All-Time High
Amid all the hand-wringing and propagandizing over the damage done to the NFL’s popularity by player protests during pregame national anthem ceremonies, the important available numbers continue to paint a picture of a league that is invulnerable to controversy. The NFL’s ratings are up in relation t...
Saints Lineman Mitchell Loewen Helps Save Man Who Drove SUV Off Fourth Floor Of Parking Garage
Saints third-year defensive lineman Mitchell Loewen leapt to the rescue of a man who managed to drive his Mercedes SUV off the fourth floor of a garage in New Orleans Sunday, helping to pull the man from his utterly obliterated vehicle. Per The Times-Picayune:...
Let’s Remember Some Guys: WrestleMania Vol. II
One of my favorite villainous wrestlers when I was a kid was Rick “The Model” Martel. The gimmick was simple: Martel was a model, and he thought he was better than you....
There's A New Co-Leader In The Manny Machado Sweepstakes
Manny Machado homered in his first-at bat, his 24th of the year, and then left the game after the fourth inning, because of wet grass following a rain delay. Baltimore manager Buck Showalter said, without outright saying, what we all know: that Machado is currently more valuable to the Orioles on th...
Everton Really Fucked Up This Fifth-Division Team, 22-0
Everton decided to take on a fifth-division Austrian team, ATV Irdning, ostensibly because they were the closest 11 sentient beings in the area. The offseason friendly took place in Austria, where Everton have a training ground in picturesque Bad Mitterndorf, a few miles up the road from the home...
Chaotic Cardinals Season Continues With Mid-Season Firing Of Manager Mike Matheny
The St. Louis Cardinals axed manager Mike Matheny Saturday night, following an 8-2 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. The loss was their fourth in five games, and 10th in their last 15 games. The Cardinals are now 7.5 games back in the NL Central. The Cardinals announced Matheny’s firing via a team releas...
Pole Vaulter Nearly Makes Shish Kebab Of His Dick And Balls
At the IAAF Rabat Diamond League track meet in Morocco today, pole vaulter Timur Morgunov’s pole skewered the front of his shorts. His dangly bits narrowly and luckily remained intact....
Dead Letters: "A Lot Of People 'Hump' The Flag"<em></em>
Subject: Jogger...
Coach In LaVar Ball's League Squares Up On His Own Player, Tells Him To "Stop Being A Bitch"
High school and college basketball players will not only get paid if they play in LaVar Ball’s JBA league, but they’ll also get the kind of coaching experience you can’t even find in the NBA—specifically, getting shoved and cursed at and challenged to a fight....
Jaguars DT Marcell Dareus Has Been Accused Of Sexual Assault In Two Separate Lawsuits
Jacksonville Jaguars defensive lineman Marcell Dareus is currently facing two separate lawsuits that accuse him of sexual assault. Both anonymous plaintiffs—one woman from Las Vegas and another in Texas—say that Dareus had sex with them while they were blacked out or otherwise incapacitated. The Te...
Audio: Delicia Cordon Told 911 Dispatcher She Believed LeSean McCoy Had Someone Attack Her
Police in Milton, Georgia have released the 911 audio of Delicia Cordon, LeSean McCoy’s ex-girlfriend, calling to report she had just been beaten up by a man demanding back jewelry that McCoy had given her. The caller’s name is taken out of the audio, but previously released dispatch records said it...