ac Page 717 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bills Linebackers Start Season By Missing Team Bus
Buffalo Bills linebackers Jerry Hughes and Zach Brown missed the first team bus for today’s game against the Ravens, so they called an Uber instead. From Hughes’s Instagram, geotagged somewhere on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway:...

Ryan Newman Rips Into "Old, Bipolar" Tony Stewart After Wreck
Ryan Newman blasted Tony Stewart for being “old,” “bipolar,” and suffering from “anger issues” after a wreck tonight in Richmond that knocked him out of the race and led to a lengthy red flag stoppage....

"Akransas"
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Rice-Army Game Delayed By Mule Shit
Army football has often been accused of taking a shit on the field over the past few decades, but today’s delay in the Black Knights’ game against Rice was due to the mules that serve as live West Point mascots....
![Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fwybfmj9zzurqgz3nqgu.jpg)
Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]
Squawka is a very popular soccer statistics website, boasting some 370K Facebook fans and 592K Twitter followers. Most readers expect geeky soccer analysis and statistical breakdowns of, say, how the Bayern Munich midfield passed to each other. What they didn’t expect was an extreme close up of a bu...

Lamar Jackson Is Unreal
After accounting for eight touchdowns in the first half against Charlotte last weekend, Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson picked up the pace this week against Syracuse and scored three touchdowns within the first five minutes of the game. He added another one later in the first quarter. ...

The Best Jaguars Fan Has Been Found
A few months ago, Jacksonville news station WJXT roamed the streets in search of civilian takes on the Jaguars’ draft picks. Reporter Scott Johnson found a woman who was quite confident in her analysis of the team. On Thursday, she made her return to television....

Christian Benteke Probably Made Crystal Palace Sign His Little Brother, Who Sucks
It’s often difficult for small teams to convince players at big clubs making big bucks to forgo the glory and riches of the game’s destination clubs in favor of being the star at the little team, even when said player has found himself latched to the big team’s bench. Thus small clubs must pull out ...

Todd Gurley Is Looking To Spare Himself Some Punishment
I am robustly excited for Todd Gurley’s first full season, because he is a joy to watch. But while sports fandom can be a selfish thing—especially in football, where we’re used to seeing our favorite players’ brains turn to applesauce and ACLs slingshot into the upper deck—I want the best for both m...

Can Jimmy Garoppolo Beat The Cardinals? Watch Our <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i> Simulation To Find Out.
It’s time to update our Tecmo Super Bowl rosters and CPU vs CPU sim Sunday’s Patriots-Cardinals game. Can Jimmy Garoppolo lead New England to the win? Find out on Facebook Live:...

Army Football Team Removes Postgame Celebration Video Amid Religious Freedom Complaints
After Army beat Temple last weekend, their team’s social media accounts posted a video of the postgame locker room celebrations, in which head coach Jeff Monken asked an assistant coach to lead the team in a prayer. The video has since been pulled, and an investigation into whether or not the prayer...

Stan Wawrinka And Juan Martin Del Potro Both Beat The Sad Tennis Ball
Well after 1 a.m. in Queens this morning, Stan Wawrinka defeated Juan Martin del Potro in four sets, but the real loser was every tennis ball in play. The quarterfinal match pitted two of the sport’s most violent groundstrokes against one another and admittedly, all that violence is pretty to look a...

We're Simulating Tonight's Panthers-Broncos Game In Tecmo Super Bowl With Updated Rosters
The NFL season is here, and if you thought we’d let tonight’s opener go without simulating on an old NES then you’re crazy. We’re LIVE on Facebook:...

Fire Half The Managers
As you glance up from your real job and gaze at the rows of offices occupied by “managers,” do you ever get the feeling that nothing of value is really going on over there? My friend, you are exactly right. ...

Jason Pierre-Paul Is Suing ESPN Because Its Reporting Was Too Accurate<em></em>
New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul is scheduled to face off against ESPN and reporter Adam Schefter in a Florida federal court next August. At issue is a tweet Schefter posted in 2015 containing two photos of Pierre-Paul’s medical records....

How Many Syllables Are In The Word "Wild"?
Help me out, here. I say it has one syllable. That is how I pronounce it: wīld. One vowel sound. The l is a consonant; it does not get a discrete uh to announce its arrival. The Oxford English Dictionary agrees with me....

Steve Jobs Loved The Headphone Jack
At approximately 1:00 p.m. today, in the year of our Lord 2016, Tim Cook defiled the memory of the late Steven “Steve” Paul Jobs with an abomination built of space-gray hubris. Today, Tim Cook discarded the iPhone headphone jack. And with that headphone jack, the soul of its creator went, too. ...

Jared Goff Is Not Ready
The Rams broke the bank to trade up for Jared Goff. On Monday night, the franchise’s first game since moving back to Los Angeles, the starting quarterback will be...Case Keenum. But if Keenum gets hurt or is ineffective, the Rams will turn to...Sean Mannion. Hmmm, OK. ...

Only A Month After Breaking Her Back In A Horrific Crash, Annemiek Van Vleuten Won A Bike Race
After Dutch rider Annemiek van Vleuten crashed while leading the Olympic road race, I thought she was dead. She fell headfirst into a ditch and appeared to wrench her neck in the process, then remained motionless as her pursuers passed her. No official update was offered for about ten minutes, and g...

Steph Curry Gets His Shot Blocked By A Teen<em></em>
Steph Curry’s summer of defeats continued Tuesday at an event in Taiwan when a 17-year-old blocked the Golden State Warrior’s shot....