ac Page 776 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Come On, Summer Is Obviously The Worst Season, Fight Me
Just what the fuck?...
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Massachusetts Man Cannot Handle Seeing A Sunfish: "What The Fuck Is That, Kid?"
At first, it’s reasonable to think that this video’s protagonist, a man from Malden, is laying the Massachusetts accent on a little thick as he reacts to seeing a sunfish in the water. Oh man, Jay, it’s dead, bro, or somethin’! Michael Bergin’s interview with the Boston Globe basically confirms that...
![Lawyer Of Patrick Kane's Accuser Claims Rape Kit Was Tampered With [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1443562022865048353.jpg)
Lawyer Of Patrick Kane's Accuser Claims Rape Kit Was Tampered With [Update]
Thomas Eoannou, the attorney for the woman accusing Patrick Kane of rape, held a press conference today and claimed that the rape kit, which had reportedly shown no signs of Kane’s DNA on the woman’s genital area or underwear, was tampered with. Eoannou discovered this because the rape kit’s evidenc...
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
Mario Balotelli Has Pretty Bad Hair, Scores A Pretty Good Goal
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:...
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Joe Maddon Says AC/DC Screwed Up Wrigley Field
AC/DC held a concert at Wrigley Field on Sept. 15, and they apparently shredded the whole field with their smoking hot riffs. At least that’s what Cubs manager Joe Maddon thinks....
How To Make Your Vacation Rental Feel Like Home
Airbnb may be the gold standard nowadays in terms of renting out real people’s houses and apartments to more adventurous travelers, but since 1999, I’ve been using Habitat NY, HomeAway, and Craigslist to find homier places to stay in locales ranging from Chelsea to Soldotna, Alaska. As a general nig...
Donald Trump: Joe Flacco Is Elite
Pestilent clownfister Donald Trump did a video Q&A today, and two of the 12 questions he answered were about the NFL. The first and most important was on the eliteness of one Joe Flacco:...
How To Clean Semen Off Of Anything
We’re kicking off Season Two of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast in what I consider to be perfect style: covered in semen. My guest this week is Maureen O’Connor, sex columnist for New York Magazine and a contributor to The Cut, who joined me to talk about cum stains. ...
Syracuse QB Eric Dungey Leaves Game After CMU Linebacker's Nasty Hit
Syracuse beat Central Michigan 30-27 in overtime Saturday, but the Orange lost starting freshman quarterback Eric Dungey after he was injured by a hit from Chippewas linebacker Mitch Stanitzek. Dungey didn’t return to the game, and Stanitzek was ejected for targeting....
Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre's Friendly Rivalry Is Still The Best
The best thing about any game between the Rangers and Mariners is the likelihood that it will involve Felix Hernandez and Adrian Beltre joking around and talking shit to each other. They do this all the time, and last night was no different:...
Horny Bills Fans Continue To Have No Concept Of Shame
A reader sent along some photos from Sunday’s Patriots-Bills game, and we have to ask, why do Bills fans insist on utilizing their partners’ pants like dead Tauntauns?...
Did Chip Kelly Outsmart Himself?
The Eagles are 0-2, and although it’s certainly unfair to write off a team after two games, you wouldn’t blame Eagles fans for looking at Chip Kelly with eyebrows raised as high as they’ll go. Is this—a completely dysfunctional squad that can’t be bothered to beat a Cowboys team down Tony Romo and D...
Tracy Morgan's Emmys Speech Dusted Off One Of His Best, Bawdiest Jokes
At the 2014 Emmys, Jimmy Kimmel promised us that Tracy Morgan would be back onstage next year, and last night, Morgan made good on that promise, presenting the final Emmy of the night. Of course, his touching speech focused on the June 2014 car accident that put him in an eight-day coma, and the 15 ...
Aaron Rodgers Makes Fun Of Russell Wilson By Crediting God For The Packers' Win
After the Packers’ 27-17 win over the Seahawks last night, Aaron Rodgers gave the credit to God. Which wouldn’t be a thing, normally: athletes do that all the time. Except Rodgers is already on record as believing God doesn’t care about Packers-Seahawks games. This was a shot at Russell Wilson....