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What One Writer Learned At Bleacher Report University
Nick Bond, writing for our friends at The Classical, recently went through the training program at Bleacher Report, a sort of orc pit out of which all B/R writers must climb before they write for the site. Bond's entire piece is well worth your time, but the best artifact is this horrifying paragra...

Ravens Parade Enjoyed By All, Minus The Stabbing And Trampling
The rest of the country was taken aback by the spirit shown by Baltimore, as an estimated 200,000 people thronged downtown for the Ravens championship parade on Tuesday. Also taken by surprise: city and team officials, who were woefully unprepared for the sheer number of people who showed up—especia...

Rangers Rinkside Reporter Takes A Puck To The Face
John Giannone is the man between the benches on MSG, and with time winding down in the second period, the puck found him. He cut open the bridge of his nose, which led to what I believe is a first: a reporter doing a live shot as his own blood pours down his face and into his mouth. He's a hockey ...

Deadspin Up All Night: I'll Never Know
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It's supposed to start snowing here in Noo Yawk early tomorrow morning. Everyone be calm....

Jim Harbaugh Still Wants Penalties Called, Even If It's Late In The Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The 49ers coach is still hung up on that holding no-call....

Cole Hamels Has Finally Acquired The Multiracial Children Necessary To Recreate His Luxury Condo Ad
Three years ago, we highlighted this bizarre magazine supplement featuring Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels and his wife Heidi shilling for some Center City real estate. One showed fashion plate Hamels listening to ocean sounds from his very pregnant wife. The other showed the Hamelses and their childre...

Mike Francesa's First Two Callers Berated Him About Stuttering And Weather Forecasting
Hardly a day goes by without WFAN's Mike Francesa getting trolled by his own listeners. But this is something special—today's show kicked off with two callers, each uninterested in sports, but consumed with blasting Francesa for the oddest peccadillos....
![Turkish Woman Decapitated In Go-Kart Crash [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18dx9r4rsuwytjpg.jpg)
Turkish Woman Decapitated In Go-Kart Crash [UPDATE]
Gruesome story out of Turkey: A 24-year-old woman was beheaded today at a go-kart track in Adapazarı, about two hours east of Istanbul, when the cart she was riding in crashed into a safety barrier. According to witnesses, the woman's seat belt cut off her head during the crash's impact:...

Todd Helton Reportedly Got His DUI While On A Drunken Lotto Ticket Run
Yesterday, we learned about Rockies first baseman Todd Helton's DUI arrest and were treated to his I-am-too-drunk-for-pictures-right-now mugshot, but specific details were sparse. We knew that Helton was arrested a few blocks from his house at 2:39 a.m., but that was about it. Thanks to TMZ, which ...

Pitch Invader Rushes Onto Field During Argentina-Sweden Match, Kisses Lionel Messi
While the U.S. was busy losing to Honduras in a vital World Cup qualifying match, other nations around the globe spent their Wednesday engaged in international friendly matches. One such bout became especially friendly, as Argentina's road trip to Sweden turned romantic when a Barcelona jersey-cla...

Anthony "Spice" Adams Created The Perfect Sammy Sosa Pinterest Parody
Sammy Sosa joined Pinterest a short while ago and it was nothing short of breathtaking. Anthony "Spice" Adams, the affable ex-NFLer maybe/maybe not still looking to catch on with a team, decided to join Sosa in his Pinterest endeavors....

Canadiens Goalie Carey Price Takes Hockey Puck To The Nuts
Sure you could characterize it as Carey Price enduring "a wrist shot right...in the...middle...of the net" but we all know better. The immediate doubling over is a tell-tale sign of a nut shot....

Sixers Fan Buys 18 Tickets To Tonight's Game For Less Than A Dollar
The Sixers are five games under .500 and hosting the Indiana Pacers isn't doing the Wells Fargo Center any favors, either. Things are so desperate in Philly that one fan was able to scoop up 18 tickets on stub-hub for $.04. He bought the entire row and told Ryan Petzar he did so because it "seemed l...

Ravens Fans Storm M&T Bank Stadium After Super Bowl Parade
As we have come to learn, Baltimore was pretty fired up for the Ravens victory over the 49ers in Super Bowl 47. The zeitgeist continued Tuesday as most of Baltimore attended a victory parade and later spilled into M&T Bank Stadium for a rally....

Deadspin Up All Night: How'd I Ever Get Through My Life Without You
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean will be around to share things with you, likely mostly basketball-related. Have a lovely evening....

Dwight Howard's Legs Go Numb When He Sits Down, So That's Encouraging
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: This is what passes for "75 percent" healthy....

Bob Ley Is Still Having Camera Trouble
It's time once again for Adventures in Photography, with ESPN's Bob Ley, live from the USMNT world cup qualifier in Honduras....

Todd Helton Got A DUI This Morning And Posed For An Unfortunate Mugshot
Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was arrested early this morning for driving under the influence of alcohol in Thornton, Colo. According to police, Helton was pulled over a few blocks away from his home at 2:39 a.m. Helton just released a statement on the incident, via the Denver Post:...

Questions About National Signing Day? Ask The Best College Football Minds In The Country
National Signing Day—the day when college football fans spend a lot of time waiting for teenagers to put on hats—is well underway. It's already treated us to some excitement and sparked a necessary, thoughtful discussion....

49ers Tight End Delanie Walker's Aunt And Uncle Were Killed By A Drunk Driver The Morning After The Super Bowl
Earlier this morning, Delanie Walker sent out the following tweet:...