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Why All Pro Sports Would Be Better If They Were Rigged
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Stop Filming Your Kids Crying Over Sports
Here's a little girl in tears over Ichiro Suzuki being traded away from the Seattle Mariners. We've been sent this video a few times, and we'll take the chance to address this now, rather than respond to each individually: We don't care about your or anyone else's little kids crying over sports....

Martin Prado Swings, Misses, Stumbles, Falls On His Ass
No one's going to remember that Martin Prado drew a walk to lead off what turned out to be a scoreless seventh for the Braves last night. What they will remember is the pure slapstick gold that ensued after Prado whiffed at the third pitch he saw from Mike Dunn, complete with the real-life laugh tra...

Deadspin Up All Night: Freak Out And Give In
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. See you tomorrow....

Ichiro Traded To The Yankees
Yikes. The YES Network's Jack Curry reports that the Yankees have traded for Ichiro Suzuki. The Mariners will receive minor league starter D.J. Mitchell and reliever Danny Farquhar. The Yankees are currently in Seattle, so expect him to don the pinstripes road grays against his old team tonight. We ...

Bud Selig Doesn't Think Anyone Wants More Instant Replay In Baseball
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape....

Rick Nash Is A Ranger, But Columbus Fans Shouldn't Kill Themselves Over It
On trade deadline day, Columbus's demands for Rick Nash were reportedly Brandon Dubinsky, Chris Kreider, Ryan McDonagh OR Michael Del Zotto, Derek Stepan OR Carl Hagelin, and a first-round draft pick. Well, Nash is officially a Ranger today, and Scott Howson did manage to get two of the items on his...

<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: Memories From Matt Taibbi, Justine Bateman, And More
Last week, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction by telling the story of the first time I listened to the album. Here's a collection of stories from other writers (and from readers, too) about their experiences with the album. ...

The IOC Won't Recognize The 40th Anniversary Of The Munich Massacre, So Bob Costas Will
This slipped under the radar a bit this weekend, but NBC Olympics host Bob Costas told The Hollywood Reporter that he plans to acknowledge the 40th anniversary of the Munich Olympic massacre with a minute of silence as the Israeli national team enters Olympic Stadium during Friday's Opening Ceremon...

Deadspin Up All Night: The Finish Line
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hey, take it easy....

Desperate For Live Programming, NBC Sports Network Turns To Canadian Football
When NBC announced it would be rebranding Versus as the NBC Sports Network, some people thought it might be able to rival ESPN as the nation's premier 24-hour sports network. Well, so much for that. Aside from the NHL, NBCSN doesn't have broadcast rights for any major sports. That's about to change...

Brits Placed First And Second At The Tour De France, Their Significant Others May Hate Each Other
Remember foul-mouthed Bradley Wiggins—the cyclist that called would-be steroid accusers "cunts" and "fucking wankers" a couple weeks ago while he was leading the Tour de France? Well, he ended up winning, becoming the first British person to do so in the race's history. He made no mention of wankers...

Miguel Batista No Longer On Best Team In Baseball
To be fair, he never really was on the best team in baseball, but the Mets designated Miguel Batista for assignment on Sunday morning....

Tiger's Errant Drive At 11 Today Created A Thundering Herd Of Freaks
A haphazard day for Tiger Woods continued at the par-five 11 this morning as his tee shot went well to the right, landing behind the gallery and creating a stampede of idiots desperate to get a glimpse of Tiger's golf ball. Our favorite is backpack guy, but there's plenty of gems to pick out in sl...

Deadspin Up All Night: Ride The Wave
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Catch you on the flipside....

Colorado St. Recruit Injured In Colorado Shooting
Zack Golditch, a high school senior who recently committed to play football for the Colorado State Rams, was among the injured following the shooting at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight in Aurora, Colorado. Golditch, along with current and future teammates were in the theater adjacent to the...

Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....

Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...

Deadspin Up All Night: Keep On
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The usual gang of idiots will take you through the weekend....

Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...