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Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...

How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...

Rafael Nadal Is Neurotic About Everything (Including Ham)
Rafael Nadal is a troubled soul who hates lots of things. This week, Nadal revealed yet another thing he hates:...

Hawk Harrelson Still Has A Headache After His On-Air Meltdown Yesterday
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Harrelson is still steamed....

Phillies Fan Goes Knuckle-Deep
I'm not sure what this Phillies fan, who made it up to Citi Field for last night's win over the Mets, should be more embarrassed about. The fact that the cameras perfectly caught him prospecting for green gold, or that he's wearing a division championship shirt. (H/T Debra)...

The Official Bobcats Draft Lottery Party Was A Sad, Sad Time
The Bobcats opened up Time Warner Cable Arena for fans to come and watch last night's draft lottery. A lovely gesture, one much appreciated by the 40 or so people who showed up. As we know by now, the Bobcats slipped to No. 2. There was shock, anger, sadness, apathy, shuffling off into the Charlot...

The New Orleans Hornets Will Pick First In The 2012 NBA Draft
The New Orleans Hornets, currently owned by the NBA and soon to be owned by Saints owner Tom Benson, will select first in the 2012 NBA Draft (most likely choosing Kentucky forward Anthony Davis). The Charlotte Bobcats, which had the worst winning percenatge in NBA history this past season, will pick...

Deadspin Up All Night: Revue
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik the Read up soon....

J.J. Redick Tries Really Hard To Avoid Saying Everyone On The Magic Hated Each Other
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: They totally hated each other....

BMX Rider Hits Head, "Focuses On Vacuuming"
Helmets don't work every time you dive headfirst into a large wooden structure. Professional BMX rider and 2012 X Games invitee Tom Dugan found that out the hard way when he attempted a "one-handed no-footed cancan" (a feat where the rider moves both of his feet to one side of the bike, letting go...

No Matter Who Wins, The NBA Draft Lottery Is Fixed
If Charlotte wins the first overall pick in tonight's draft lottery, it'll be because the association wants Michael Jordan to succeed and the Bobcats to draw in a market the NBA desperately wants to stay in. If Washington wins the lottery, it'll be because Ted Leonsis's son is the team's rep, and th...

More Complaints About The ESPN Radio iPhone App "Money Grab"
Yesterday, we introduced you to ESPN Radio's wildly unpopular new iPhone app. People who had already paid $2.99 for the app over the last two-and-a-half years are being asked to pay an extra $4.99 for a "new app"/crypto-update in order to keep listening to the feeds they already subscribe to....

The Struggling Padres' Turnaround Plan? Reunite The 2006 Cardinals Rotation
The 2006 St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series despite bad starting pitching. They had Chris Carpenter and a brigade of abysmal complements: Jeff Weaver, Anthony Reyes, and Jeff Suppan. During the regular season, washed-up Mark Mulder, Sidney Ponson, and Jason Marquis also started. Yeah. It was g...

Jason Babin Is Spending His Offseason Messing With Giant, Angry Mammals
Pro Bowl lineman Jason Babin missed the start of Eagles OTAs because he was stuck in Alaska, shooting at bears and just being a man. He was somewhere in the Frozen North hunting brown bear when a storm rolled in, making it impossible to fly back to Pennsylvania on time....

Dear Terry Francona, Please Stop Emailing Photos Of Yourself Half-Naked In A Towel To My Girlfriend
A reader, whom we'll call Rob, emailed us Monday night with the photo you see above. The photo came with this message:...

Vin Scully Can Even Make Bobbleheads Seem Cool Again
Major League Baseball's enduring fascination with bobbleheads is, by and large, played out by now, but we'll grant an exception for this August 30, when the Dodgers hold their first-ever Vin Scully Bobblehead Night and give away this reasonable likeness of the Hall of Fame announcer, now in his 63rd...

A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12," which "LatinaJuggalette" was kind enough to share. Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, satiricapunk-rockin' front ma...

Deadspin Up All Night: Gold
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik will be with you in a few for the hoops and such....

Tim Tebow's Ex-Teammates Sound Relieved That He's Gone
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Eric Decker would prefer to worry about football, thank you very much....

The 6-Year-Old Who Qualified For The National Spelling Bee Might Be An Alien
At the tender age of six, Lori Anne Madison just became the youngest person ever to qualify for the Scripps National Nerd Olympics, otherwise known as the Spelling Bee. But despite the media attention and mounting pressure, Lori Anne says she's not nervous at all. "I've been in competitions with old...