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What Is Sadder Than The Lakers' 72-Year-Old Backcourt? Let's Discuss!
So now, having watched a team led by a 27-year-old superstar beat a team led by a pair of 23-year-old superstars in the NBA Finals, the Lakers have produced their own blueprint for returning to championship form: pairing a 38-year-old former MVP point guard with their 34-year-old former MVP shooting...

So, About Those Witnesses Against Lance Armstrong
The revived case against Lance Armstrong hinges on more than just blood samples from 2009 and 2010 that reportedly show evidence of doping. USADA, still humping this case years after most of us stopped caring about it, allege "a massive doping conspiracy from 1998 to 2007," involving Armstrong, his ...

Court-Ordered Community Service With Big Van Vader: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

At Last, A Women's Final Worth Watching: The Serena Williams-Aggie Radwanska Match Will Be Awesome
When the Serena Williams-Victoria Azarenka Wimbledon semifinal started today, Mike Tirico and Mary Joe Fernandez made it pretty clear that they considered the match the de facto final. This was a popular theory, but it's wrong. Serena's straight-set victory put her into the final against Agnieszka ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Where Is My Mind?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I hope you had a raucous Fourth of July....

Andy Murray Advances To Wimbledon Semifinals, Keeps His Balls In His Shorts
Earlier this afternoon, Andy Murray defeated David Ferrer in a quarterfinals match at Wimbledon. Murray won the match in four sets, and will face off against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the semifinals. Murray is looking to become the first British man to win Wimbledon since 1936....

How To Eat 1 Gallon, 9 Ounces Of Ice Cream In 12 Minutes Without Getting A Headache: The Secrets Of Ed "Cookie" Jarvis
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Ed "Cookie" Jarvis, a 46-year-old real estate agent, married father of two, cancer survivor, and retired competitive eater....

A Lady Street Brawl, As Critiqued By Twitter Legend ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "girl fight at club after she gets banned." Tonight's commentator: Twitter's ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER, aka @Zodiac_MF, who offers a very special review of footage shared wit...

Deadspin Up All Night: And I Say Buzz, Buzz, Buzz
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the holiday. We'll have a little for you tomorrow before we return to business as usual on Thursday. Here comes Erik....

HOLY SHIT GIANT CROCODILE
After two years, two deaths, several injuries, and countless sleepless nights and pooped sarongs, Lolong the crocodile was captured in the Philippines last fall. This week he's been officially certified as the world's largest saltwater crocodile, at 20.24 feet and 2,370 pounds....

Lamar Odom Turns His Frown Upside Down
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Back in L.A., Lamar has a happy again!...

Sorry, Mario Balotelli Didn't Really Make This German Fan Cry: How TV Lied To You During Euro 2012
In the 36th minute of the Euro 2012 semifinal, Mario Balotelli scored his second goal, a screamer to the top right corner. Balotelli ripped off his jersey and flexed, and the telecast cut to a woman in the stands, a German flag painted on her cheek, a single tear leaking from her eye....

The Time I Got Stool Softener For My Ear Because My Earwax Was Stabbing My Brain, And Other Poop Stories
Hello, little lambs. It's me, some lady! You might remember me from yelling about vagina over at Jezebel, or from that time one year ago when Drew went on vacation and I wrote a weird Funbag about banana phones and jism. Can you believe it's been an entire year? ME NEITHER. But now Drew has up and l...

50-Year-Old Man Allegedly Attacked Three Women With Sword, Peanut Butter Sandwich
There's no summer lunch quite like the peanut butter sandwich. Unlike anything with meats or cheeses, it holds up well to the heat. Its gooey richness goes well with any season. Even when it's being smeared on a suspicious lady outside your trailer....

Deadspin Up All Night: Fancy Patter
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin....

How To Burp Like A World Champ In 5 Steps, Featuring Competitive Eater And Burping World Champ Tim Janus
The results from the 2011 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest tell us that Tim "Eater X" Janus is the third-best hot-dog eater in the world. He owns world records for speed-eating burritos, sushi, and ramen noodles....

Pat Riley Still Doesn't Quite Understand Why People Hated The Heat
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Riley's been on some hated teams before, but this one takes the hate cake....

Why Do We Have Sideline Reporters? The Original Sideline Reporter Says The Job Is "Just Nonsense"
With Erin Andrews moving to Fox, now's a good time to revisit this 2009 interview with television's first sideline reporter, Jim Lampley. Originally published July 28, 2009....

"Abe Lincoln Bandit" Robs Houston Bank While Wearing Mets Cap
My only thought is that because this guy has ostentatious facial hair, he might be a relief pitcher, and because he might be a relief pitcher, he might be a better setup man than Miguel Batista, once he gets this whole bank robbery situation squared away. But since he made off with less than $100 in...

Mario Balotelli Impregnates Person
Ninety or so minutes of soccer ago, Mario Balotelli was playing like the best player on the best team in the world. Now he's going to be a father. That's some consolation, right?...