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Update: Alleged Weed-Eating Rabbits Were Not Actually Eating Weed
An email from a reader about Deadspin's coverage of that burgeoning scourge, athletes trying to eat their weed:...

Brendan Haywood Says NBA Players Are "Fake Tough Guys"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Haywood says he never punched Dwight Howard....

Here's What Kentucky's Championship Celebration Sounded Like Over The Lexington Police Scanner
If you weren't tuned in to the Lexington Police Department's radio scanner last night, you missed out on a wild world of sports celebrations that ranged from the violent to the perverse. (The #LexingtonPoliceScanner Twitter hashtag alone was trending worldwide, at one point.) We recorded the whole ...

Marlins Park, Camden Yards, And The End Of The Retro Ballpark
Marlins Park has been unveiled to the masses, and early reviews are fawning. "Contemporary," "dazzling," "forward-looking." The only thing not state-of-the-art is a true center field camera (perhaps the home run sculpture is in the way)....

Taco B.M. Monster Wins Name Of The Year
The votes are counted, the tallies tallied, and Dutch medical professional Taco B.M. Monster has been awarded the Name of the Year, beating out such luminaries as Commie Spead, Monsterville Horton IV, and Madz Negro. Next year's tournament starts "soonish." [NOTY]...

Next Year's NCAA Final Four Will Be Held In Lithuania
The NCAA would have you dismiss all Dumb Jock stereotypes, but the ribbon board tonight announced a far more important notice: next year's Final Four will take place in "Alanta."...

Commence The Kentucky Fans Shouting Profanities On Live Television
Here's a shot from a few minutes ago on WKYT in Lexington of an ill-advised live shot from the middle of a gathering of Kentucky fans at the corner of Woodland and Euclid, near the UK campus. The horrified reactions of the "hosts" broadcasting from what appears to be an RV in New Orleans makes th...

Congratulations to NCAA Champions Kentucky, Whose Celebration Scared The Shit Out Of Some Radio Guy
Kentucky is your NCAA Division I men's basketball national champion, beating Kansas 67-59. They may or may not blow up Lexington tonight, but it's the explosion of confetti inside the Superdome that has this unidentified radio man concerned. [CBS]...

The Fray's Pre-NCAA Title Game National Anthem Performance Was ... Different
While nowhere near as bad as any that made our suggestions for the Worst National Anthem Ever (indeed, if you caught Monica's tone-deaf rendition Saturday, you know it wasn't even the worst of the Final Four) The Fray's attempt at a hipster version of Marvin Gaye's "Star-Spangled Banner" fell awfu...

Your NCAA Championship Game Open Thread
Basketball tips off at 9:23 p.m., Kansas-Kentucky, "One Shining Moment," on CBS, all that. Bill Self and John Calipari, Anthony Davis and Thomas Robinson, Tyshawn Taylor and Darius Miller, Jeff Withey and Kyle Wiltjer. Talk about it all down here....

Deadspin Up All Night: Imitate This
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin....
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That's that: Kentucky's student-athletes defeated Kansas's amateur basketball players, 67-59. Here's a look at some of our tourney coverage: They're cursing on TV in Kentucky » | The celebration scared some radio guy » | John Calipari, honest pimp » | How the careers of March Madness heroes ended » ...

Should You Eat Your Marijuana During A Police Stop? A Guide
Detroit Lions running back Mikel Leshoure is being arraigned today in Berrien County, Mich., court on a marijuana charge. As with many low-stakes weed busts, the details are whimsical:...

The Maloofs Claim They Are "100 Percent Committed" To Sacramento
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Maloofs are lying, of course....

How A Career Ends: Jeff Sheppard, Kentucky's Great Dunking Guard, Quit Because Of 9/11
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Jeff Sheppard, two-time national champion and one of the best dunkers in Kentucky history. ...

How A Career Ends: George Lynch Was Finished Off By Sore Feet
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: George Lynch, all-purpose star for the University of North Carolina....

John Calipari, The First Honest Pimp
John Calipari is a smarmy greaseball with a habit of making enemies and racking up NCAA violations, and sometimes I think he's the only man who really understands college basketball. ...

What Is The Grantland Book Good For? A Deadspin Investigation
The second issue of the McSweeney's Grantland Quarterly is out now. For those of you unfamiliar with the title, the quarterly is a $25 anthology of Grantland.com stories you could read online for free. Why take a collection of internet posts and re-publish them on heavy paper stock set between two...

Joe Maddon Wears Short Shorts
The Rays like to have fun, and nothing screams fun like booty shorts. For the Rays' pregame workout on Saturday, the entire team decided to don short pants, because they're a bunch of guys! Hanging out together! Showing a little thigh!...

Here Is The Much-Ballyhooed Ubaldo Jimenez Plunking Of Troy Tulowitzki
Earlier this afternoon, tensions ran high between the Cleveland Indians and the Colorado Rockies when Ubaldo Jimenez drilled his former teammate, Troy Tulowitzki. Tulo immediately dropped his bat and made toward the mound and Jimenez decided to meet him halfway. Benches cleared and not much else h...