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Eric Hassli's Stoppage Time Volley Proved The Existence Of A Canadian Rocket Program
While the Voyageurs Cup may be one of soccer's less-prestigious trophies, claiming it in the Canadian Championship does have its rewards: specifically, an invite to the CONCACAF Champions League. Last night's first leg between Whitecaps and Toronto FC in Vancouver looked like an upset 1-0 win by t...

Breaking: French Photographer's Life Filled With More Beautiful Women Than Yours
Alexis has been taking pictures since he was 6 years old. An artist and editorial photographer who counts Kandinsky and Helmut Newton among his inspirations, Alexis's work has hung in Manhattan galleries and graced the pages of W, Italian Elle, and Purple magazines....

Derrick Rose Is Now Getting Around With A Walker
With his recovery expected to take eight to 12 months, we all knew the Bulls' superstar was in for a grind. But this is just so sad. Until we saw this photo, we had no idea his rehab regimen would also include bingo games, afternoon naps, and the occasional early-bird special....

TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....

Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record
Record-breaking old man Jamie Moyer, who legend has it is older than dirt, legged out a two-run infield single tonight, becoming the geezeriest ballplayer to ever drive in a run. Pitcher Jack Quinn of the Brooklyn Dodgers was 48 years, 11 months, and six days when he hit a three-run double back in ...

In Attempting To Throw Tonight's Rangers First Pitch, Gary Sinise Showed Lieutenant Dan Has No Arm, Either
Gary Sinise was on hand before today's A's-Rangers game from Arlington to toss out the game's first pitch and promote his veterans' charities. Unfortunately, the CSI:NY star's throw suffered from The Big Bounce though it was, eventually, corralled at home plate. [FSSW]...

Deadspin Up All Night: Cook Out
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Nightspin soon....

What Does Buck Showalter Think Is The Hardest Job In Baseball?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's not the O's job....

Sources: ESPN's Charissa Thompson Will Be The Next Co-Host Of The Michelle Beadle-Less <em>SportsNation</em>
Now that the clock is ticking on Michelle Beadle's ESPN career—she's there for just another two weeks, according to Those Guys Have All the Fun author Jim Miller—who's set to replace her as the tolerable half of SportsNation?...

<em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy
My wife and I love kids—we just don't want to have any of our own. That shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes other people sure act like it is. There have been a few too many instances when my wife and I have been around other folks' babies and the inevitable question comes up: "When are you two go...

24-Year-Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates To Complete A Creepy Survey Afterward
Last month, we brought you a finance guy's way-too-detailed spreadsheet of the ladies he met on Match.com. A reader who enjoyed that post then passed along this survey she received from a man she briefly dated in Philadelphia....

Outtakes From My Four Hours With Justin Bieber, The Swaggiest Of Swaggy Bros
I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrived at the studio surrounded by adults. His two closest friends a...

The Padres And Nationals Were Ready To Resume Play, But Three Of The Umpires Were Nowhere To Be Found
Umpires often like to say they're doing their jobs when no one notices them. But Tony Randazzo, Alan Porter, and Larry Vanover weren't trying to prove themselves when they literally disappeared for a moment yesterday at Nationals Park....

Here Is A Video Of Charles Barkley Using A Shake Weight In Extremely Slow Motion
TNT's Inside The NBA hosts Shaquille O'Neal and Charles Barkley are engaged in some sort of workout competition, and tonight Shaq tossed Charles Barkley a Shake Weight to help Chuck's battle of the bulk. While it doesn't appear Sir Charles understands the device too well, it's still a delicious i...

Porn Star Stoya Watches A Stripper Fight For Us: "Wrestling Is More Entertaining With Sparkly Garments"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "STRIPPER FIGHT = ASS." Tonight's commentator: Stoya, aka "International Porn Superstar Stoya(tm)." And, "Incendiary, Quixotic, Sassy" Fleshlighteer. Not to mention a w...

Deadspin Up All Night: Still Raining
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik in a bit....

Carlos Lee Couldn't Get To The Ball, So He Tackled An Umpire Instead
Charlie Manuel's profane stare-down with Bob Davidson wasn't the only hilarity involving an umpire during today's Astros-Phillies matinee. Way back in the bottom of the first, Jimmy Rollins led off by bouncing a ball down the line, where it rolled just beyond the reach of Carlos Lee, whose next move...

Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please
Can we talk about this? Can we talk about everything wrong with the notion that if the Cubs are to succeed—if they are to finally, evitably win a championship—they have to first tear down Wrigley Field? That there is bad juju on Waveland and hoodoo on Sheffield and black alchemy on Addison and maybe...

Small Girl Runs Big Company: Meet The Charmingly Bold Bianca Caampued
Bianca Caampued, Brooklyn businesswoman, professional party crasher, routine stunt-puller, and sometimes wearer of non-prescription eyeglasses (because why not?), co-founded Small Girls PR back in 2011. It all started when she crashed a random birthday party and was one of the last people dancing—...

Bob Davidson's Ejection Of Charlie Manuel Today Featured More F-Bombs Than A Tarantino Film
Umpire Bob Davidson added insult to injury for the Phillies today when, after obstructing catcher Brian Schneider's attempts to retrieve a dropped third strike from hurler Cliff Lee, he ejected Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel—leading to a fierce, "fuck"-filled argument in the eighth inning of t...