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Deadspin Up All Night: And So It Goes
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Onward....

Ryan Clark Has Pro Bowl Fever: "I Wasn’t Incredibly Excited Or Anything"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Clark looks forward to winning the Pro Bowl Twitter war....

A Treasure Trove Of Bat-Killing Stories For Your Super Bowl Bye Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

What Do Premier League Stars Read When They're Not Busy Not Reading?
It's time for the 2012 Premier League Reading Stars program, in which England's schoolkids are encouraged to read by professional athletes pretending to love books. To kick off the program, 20 Premier Leaguers—one from each club—were asked to name their favorite adult and children's books. The resul...

Clover-Nipple Man, The Unofficial Conductor Of The Notre Dame Fight Song
Your morning roundup for Jan. 26, the day somebody finally tried to do something about all that cannibalism out there. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your "Oh No, It's 3:30 A.M. " Liveblog Of Federer-Nadal At The Australian Open
Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are set to meet in the Australian Open semifinals on Thursday, in a match scheduled to begin at 3:30 a.m. ET. It's the 27th time the pair have met on a tennis court, with the Majorcan matador holding a 17-9 edge all-time, 7-2 in Grand Slams. The meeting is notable, con...

This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...

As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...

Deadspin Up All Night: Take Your Shoes Off
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Little bit of Hickey in a bit. We're raising a glass (or four) for our old pal Emma tonight. Should be fun....

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...

This Is Encouraging, Wizards Fans: Andray Blatche Says Randy Wittman Is "The Same Coach As Flip"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the rudderless Wizards drift closer to the rocks....

Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...

Madonna's Halftime Act Will Reportedly Be "Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl"
At least that's what the New York Daily News' gossip moles overheard one of her dancers say at a party the other night. But before James Dobson can shift uncomfortably in his chair to craft a press release, somebody really ought to tell him Madonna's 20 years behind the times....

This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...

Deadspin Up All Night: Gold Stars All Around
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's got a little something quick for you later. Back at it tomorrow....

Recruit Who Tweeted Stuff Like "The Teacher Tells Me When A Girls Squirts That’s Not A Organism" Commits To Colorado
Looks like things worked out for Yuri Wright. The 85th-best recruit in the nation, according to Rivals.com, Wright had been kicked out of Don Bosco Prep (N.J.) last week after his cornucopia of racist, sexist, sexually graphic, and language-mangling tweets became known to the wider world. Michigan,...

Report: Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Resigned Because He Allegedly Groped A Male Subordinate
John Chadima resigned as the associate athletic director at the University of Wisconsin just after returning from the Rose Bowl earlier this month. Turns out he is accused of groping a male subordinate while at a party on that trip, according to what a source told WKOW, a television station in Madi...

Bernard Pollard Hopes The Giants "Put A Thrashing" On The Patriots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Patriot-killer wants New York to finish the job....

This Is What Happens When You Accuse Steven Tyler Of Butchering The National Anthem
Our post Sunday asking whether Steven Tyler's pre-AFC championship performance of the national anthem was the worst ever drew a flood of reader feedback, both in the form of poll responses and in writing. Here's an update on the poll results, as well as a sampling of your reaction to Tyler's perf...