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ShortCenter: Shaq Torments Stephen A. Smith
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

LeBron Misses Two Jumpers, Feels Bad, Dunks On A Helpless Child Instead
Your morning roundup for Nov. 17, the day we learned there are children in China who love school, a lot. Video courtesy Hoops Fix, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Up All Night: Talk About Stuff
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin and our muddying of the moral waters. You have the floor....

A Former Penn State Assistant And Survivor Of Childhood Sexual Abuse Blasts Joe Paterno: "Joe Knows Everything That Goes On In That Program"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Matt Paknis also says Jerry Sandusky was "like the Pied Piper, there were always kids around...

Meet Jim Hawthorne, LSU's Lovable Play-By-Play Man Who Gets Every Call Wrong
Many Yankees fans love their clumsy, theatrical announcer John Sterling, even though he whiffs on so many calls. But Sterling errs when calling baseball, of all sports. Think about the football announcer's plight. Not just football, but SEC football—it's fast. So we sympathize with LSU's Jim Hawthor...

Now It's Penn State Interim Coach Tom Bradley's Turn To Get Tossed Into The Meat Grinder
Tom Bradley's name is never mentioned in the 23-page Penn State grand jury summary. But that's undoubtedly true for a lot of witnesses whose appearance was not worth noting, since the summary is merely a report of the findings and the actual transcripts remain under seal. But the Patriot-News of Ha...

Kevin Kolb Says He Knew Some Of The Eagles' Plays, Because The Eagles Didn't Bother To Change Their Signals
Trashing Andy Reid is a time-honored tradition among fans in Philly, and that's even when the Eagles are successful. That level of angst is nearly incalculable this season, what with the Dream Team staring at a 3-6 record that already includes four losses at home. I can't imagine what the reaction ...

Was Bob Knight Drinking Iced Tea Or Beer As He Watched Coach K Break His Record?
Your morning roundup for Nov. 16, the day we learned Rebecca Black is back for more. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There Were Some Problems At A Chuck E. Cheese Near Detroit This Weekend
Per the MyFoxDetroit story on this weekend's misdeeds at the Southgate, Mich. Chuck E. Cheese, 60-year-old Carol Brown got jumped during a birthday party for her 3- and 5-year-old grandsons....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Yes, Chad McGhee's favorite six-man high-school football team is one step closer to the dream because "the knox city greyhounds are the bi-district CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!"...

If You Want To Get Your Two-Year-Old Drunk, Try The Hibachi Place In Jackson Twp., Ohio
"Two-year-old Karl Preusser, Jr. was with his parents and their friends Friday evening, enjoying a night out at the Wasabi Japanese Steakhouse, a hibachi style restaurant where the cook prepares the meal in front of a table of guests. ... 'He asked K.J. if he was 21 and K.J. said yes and opened his...

Deadspin Up All Night: Chat Away, Amigos y Amigas
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. This space is for you....

You Haven't Seen The Last Of Kellen Moore (You Probably Have)
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Boise State senior thinks he's got NFL stuff....

Biggest Presidential Penis: WHO YA GOT?!
Before we get to the Funbag this week, I'm in Brooklyn for a Gelf Magazine thing on Thursday if you feel like going. It's at Pacific Standard. Afterwards, we can all get drunk and watch Tebow run the T formation against the Jets. Also, I'll be at the National Press Club book fair tonight signing boo...

A Beautiful Soccer Goal That Results In A Not-So-Beautiful Celebration
Your morning roundup for Nov. 15, the day we learned about Ronald Reagan's sex life. Video courtesy Dirty Tackle, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Will Answer Any Questions You Might Have About Changing One's Name To Metta World Peace
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the former Ron Artest is still getting his new credit cards....

Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...

ShortCenter: Herm Edwards's Monday Morning Aneurysm
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Is Tim Tebow’s Afraid-To-Throw Broncos Offense Crazy Enough To Work?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Colt McCoy Gets Sacked, Chucks The Ball At The Rams Twice, Gets Away With It
Your morning roundup for Nov. 14, the day we learned airport security stops terrorists, not kleptomaniacs. Video via Michael L. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....