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Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...

Floyd Mayweather Isn't Ducking Manny Pacquaio; He's Being Persecuted, Or Something
Floyd Mayweather Jr. didn't take too kindly to Sirius radio host Rude Jude's accusation that he's afraid to fight Manny Pacquiao. So Mayweather decided to call Jude's show yesterday, at the urging of 50 Cent, and you can listen to the audio above. Mayweather never directly addresses the issue at h...

ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Official Who Breaks Up A Hockey Fight Will Sometimes Get Punched In the Face. Twice.
Your morning roundup for Nov. 4, the day we finally had it up to here with hugging. Video of hockey fight via Cosby Sweaters; H/T to Alicia. For an excellent GIF of Cal Clutterbuck's punch, be sure to check out West Coast Digress. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Alex Trebek Suggests Jeopardy Contestant Is Kinky After She Provides This Sexy Wrong Response
Kara Spak is a reporter for Chicago's Sun-Times, but she turned a September Jeopardy! appearance into a side career when she won five straight games and pocketed $85,401. The feat earned her an appearance on tonight's episode of the always-popular "Tournament of Champions," and this answer in the ...

Trent Richardson Doesn't Know How Much He Can Bench, Because Trainers Won't Let Him Try More Than 475
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Trent Smash!...

Candy Thief Gets Absolutely Trucked While Running From Cops
Via local news connoisseur Jimmy Traina comes this breaking post-Halloween news out of Phoenix. A group of young men had been stealing candy from grocery stores to the tune of hundreds of dollars, until police pulled them over. One man ran, hiding on the rooftops. Then: pepper spray, a slippery ca...

Kevin Durant Is The New Redskins Quarterback...On A Trading Card
Kevin Durant's dominating performance at an intramural flag football game at Oklahoma State earlier this week has a lot of people asking "What if?" All of those people work for the Panini Group, the Italian collectibles giant that makes trading cards and bought Donruss two years ago. What if Durant ...

Book Readings That Don't Suck
If you're in New York, tonight is the latest installment of Gelf's Varsity Letters reading series, which this time features Stefan Fatsis, John Krewson, and Jeff Pearlman. It's at 7:30 at Le Poisson Rouge in NoHo. Doors open at 7....

Sports Anchor Wins $2 Million Lottery Live On Air, Can't Help Making "Luongo Is Overpaid" Joke
Global BC sports anchor Barry Deley was actually out shopping when his name came up in a live lotto drawing, winning either a house or $2 million in cash. His unbelieving and slightly jealous colleagues call him with the news, and Deley reacts with typical Canadian poise and dry humor. The fun beg...

Another Year In NFL Concussions: A Video Compilation
Even as the NFL continues to make rule changes in an attempt to protect its players from concussions, the concussions still happen—and they happen often....

ShortCenter: The Things They Say About Quarterbacks
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

A Seattle Sounders Fan Salutes You, Two Fingers At A Time
Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Northern Illinois Linebacker Suspended For Sacking Opposing Band Member
When you're on a defense that gives up 60 points in regulation, that's reason enough to be suspended. But NIU linebacker Jamaal Bass earned his suspension the hard way, by knocking over a Toledo band member before the matchup Tuesday night. Huskies coach Dave Doeren announced the suspension this a...

Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...

Matt Barnes And I Would Like To Clarify That Neither Of Us Are Dating Eva Longoria
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: we would like to categorically deny these pernicious, unfounded rumors....

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Watch Three Young Men Throw Punches In A Heated Battle For Sexy-Nurse Girl's Love
In this installment of random fights across America, three shirtless bros wield fists in an effort to win the affections of a near-shirtless "sexy nurse girl" at a Halloween party in Isla Vista, Cal. Granted, there's nothing to indicate that girl was wearing anything resembling a nurse's uni. But ...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...