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The Blue Jays' Sign-Stealing Operation Is A Lot Less Sophisticated On The Road
Your morning roundup for Aug. 19, the day we went fishing and caught a scuba diver instead. H/T to Jamo for the photo, which he got from a friend at the Jays-A's game who texted him to say: "Guy looks into binoculars for five seconds then holds up sign that says either 'OFF SPEED' or 'FAST BALL.' S...

Deaf Minnesotans Probably Equate High-School Football Preseason With Caligulan Rabbit Breeding
Scott Seroka of KARE 11 News in Minneapolis just wanted to tease a back-to-school angle about local high-school football teams returning to two-a-day practices the following week. Closed captioning for the hearing impaired took it from there and added some sexual seasoning....

The NFL "Fineable Offenses" List, As Interpreted By The Underpant Gnomes
Apparently, the National Football League distributed its "list of fineable offenses" to players and others today. Tweeted Vikings kicker Chris Kluwe, "Some scallywag decided to condense the list down," a comment accompanied by photography....

Here's Video Of A Street Fight During Which One Participant Is Shoved Into A Trash Can
It's unclear where why this battle royale broke out since the "Ghetto fight - big brawl" description on YouTube only states, "Some ppl fighting in da streets look like black vs white."...

Terry Bradshaw Doesn't Seem To Realize That Hawaii Is A State
During tonight's Philadelphia Eagles/Pittsburgh Steelers preseason game, conversation in the Fox Sports booth turned to Troy Polamalu and Hawaii. Here's a quick synopsis:...

Jim McMahon, Six Former Players Cite NFL "Negligence And Intentional Misconduct" In Brain Injury Related Lawsuit
In what's the first potential class-action lawsuit of its kind, seven former NFL players filed suit against the league today accusing it of "negligence and intentional misconduct in its response to the headaches, dizziness and dementia that former players have reported."...

Mike Vick Says Roger Goodell Didn't Make Him Go To Philly, But...
So Michael Vick tells Emeritus for GQ that nobody cares about dog-fighting except the media, that white people don't understand where he came from, and that the NFL encouraged him to go play for the Eagles when he pretty much preferred the Bengals or the Bills. Vick, as if on cue, has since clarifie...

Former Miami Walk-On Calls Out The NCAA's Hypocritical Racket
"The NCAA has duped people into believing this multibillion-dollar industry is pursued for the sake of amateurism. It's a total sham. The coaches aren't amateurs, the administrators aren't amateurs, the corporate sponsors and media companies aren't amateurs. The only 'amateurs' involved are the guys...

Michael Irvin Calls Nevin Shapiro A Snake And A Rapist And Some Other Nice Things
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Snakepist?...

NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...

Diddy Goes To School With Russell Westbrook And Baron Davis
Your morning roundup for Aug. 18, the day the kids and the dog prevented a dude from stealing our van. Photo via @kevinlove. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...

Here's Video Of A Cheap Shot And Resulting Brawl In Today's Barcelona Vs. Real Madrid Match
Extra time in today's Spanish Supercup second leg went like this: Barcelona was up 3-2 on Lionel Messi's wonderful second goal of the match. So, Real Madrid defender Marcelo decided it would be a good idea to take a cheap shot at just-got-into-the-match Barca noob Cesc Fabregas. That's when the be...

Philip Rivers Doesn't Agree With Or Understand Total QBR
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rivers isn't much for math, but he knows it when he sees it....

Jeremy Roenick Paused The Game, But His Friend Made Gretzky's Head Bleed Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 17, the day we wondered what would be the best vintage of AC/DC wine. Video via Puck Daddy. H/T to Disco Choo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....

Novak Djokovic Pulled The Old "Hit A Reporter In The Balls While He's Examining Your Tennis Racket" Trick
Anyone who knows anything can tell you that French Canadians are really just here for our amusement. Sure, you get your occasional Avril Lavigne here or there, a crossover superstar, but mostly, it's a sea of Erik Bedards and Jean Chrétiens....

Deadspin I-Team: Which Miami Player Necessitated A Stripper's Abortion?
The latest Yahoo Sports NCAA investigation is more of the usual: a lot of investigative horsepower and details devoted to NCAA rules that don't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. But, as Barry tweeted, this story, unlike SI's Tressel investigations, has stripper abortions....

Video: A Clown's-Eye View Of This Weekend's Gathering Of The Juggalos (NSFW)
Animal New York's Bucky Turco joined me at the 12th annual Gathering this past weekend. He fearlessly tracked down the most wretched photographs and videos to be found at the campground. Here's a brief sampling. Do not watch this at work....