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The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

From Deadspin Writer To Undercover Juggalette: A Video Transformation
So I went to the 12th annual Gathering of The Juggalos this weekend. I was dressed like this. You can read all about the titties and the drugs in a few hours. [UPDATE: Read all about the titties and the drugs.]...

Could You Beat Kobe In Beer Pong?
I was about to go to bed the other night when my wife let me know that, earlier in the day, she had found an enormous spider right under my pillow....

He Turns Water Into Wine, But He Still Can't Throw A 15-Yard Out
Your morning roundup for Aug. 16, the day the view from a diving board made us piss our speedos. Photo via Last Angry Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The "Big" Penis Of Tom Brady's Toddler Son Prompted State Police To Visit Barstool Sports Editor's Home (UPDATE)
Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:...

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...

Tom Brady Says He'll Never Get Over That Jets Loss
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Brady really, really hates losing....

Monday Morning NASCAR Is The Best NASCAR
This is how we like our Sprint Cup: on a road course, and at a time we're supposed to be working....

Watch As A Rockies Coach Gets Drilled In The Face While Bobby Valentine Talks
Just your typical pre-game rundown last night on Sunday Night Baseball. Except that, as Bobby Valentine was giving his portion of the preview of Rockies-Cardinals, someone on the field near first base can be seen getting KO'd by a baseball....

Oh, Look. Mark Sanchez Is Shirtless In <em>GQ</em> Again.
Your morning roundup for Aug. 15, the day after we learned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have moved on to a life of crime. Photo via GQ. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...

Zack Greinke Bunts To You From Germany And/Or The Future
Your morning roundup for August 14, the day the New York Times trend piece hit a new low.....

Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...

Let's Watch Two Chimps Kissing And Biting One Another
This video was taken at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. Zoological voyeurism is the new black....

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Another week, another onslaught of people seeing phallus in unlikely places, capturing it on film and sending it in. Like that fountain that Luke S. saw in Siena, Italy, a few days back....

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....