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In Which Sport Can You Win Despite This Grotesquely Swollen Ankle?
None. But you can win in NASCAR, as Brad Keselowski proved yesterday at Pocono, taking the checkered flag with a broken left ankle that looked like someone stuck a softball under the skin. (On race day, it looked more like this.)...

Look Alive, Or Brandon Jennings Might Completely Embarrass You
Your morning roundup for Aug. 8, the day we learned the mile-high club extended to the cockpit. Video via SLAM Online. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Yankees-Red Sox Open Thread
Trying something a little newish here: Any of you want to talk about Sunday Night Baseball, Yankees-Red Sox? These are the two best teams in the AL, playing a rubber game to determine who'll win the series and lead the East. Freddy Garcia against Josh Beckett. 8:05 p.m., ESPN, Fenway Park, all of th...

Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...

Shannon Sharpe's HOF Induction Speech Was Not Exciting Enough To Keep John Elway From Texting
Your morning roundup for August 7, the day London was burning, and we lived by the river. Screencap via eagle-eyed reader Rob, who says he "fucking hates John Elway." See anything that might interest us? Email the tips line....

Here's Video Of A Smooth Assist In A German Soccer Match
Borussia Dortmund faced Hamburg to start their respective Bundesliga seasons yesterday, which you probably already knew. The former won the match 3-1, the highlight of which was Robert Lewandowski's assist on Mario Götze's give-and-go goal in the 29th minute....

Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...

This Is What It Looked Like When Heinz Field Became The Home Of The Gotham Rogues
As mentioned in Wake Up Deadspin, "The Dark Knight Rises" production took over Heinz Field, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, today. They called for about 10,000 extras and some Steelers, including newly married Ben Roethlisberger, were expected to be on camera....

Professional Football Ultimate Fan Association President Hit By Float At Hall Of Fame Parade
The Canton Repository was on the scene when "the Obie the Tiger balloon cruised through the intersection of Tuscarawas Street and Cleveland Avenue just before 9 a.m." Shortly thereafter, the Timken Grand Parade got real....

The Phillies And Giants Engaged In One Of Those Brawls That Really Aren't Brawls But Look Good On TV Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 6, the day our Chinese overlords recommended we seek treatment for our mooching-trillions addiction. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Georgia Scheduled Boise State Because They Thought Kellen Moore Had Graduated
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: spoiler alert, the Bulldogs start the season 0-2....

Cockblocked By J.R. Smith!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Shane Victorino Could Have At Least Tried To Help The Kid Up
Your morning roundup for Aug. 5, the day after Pete Carroll ceded all responsibility for the Seahawks. Video of Victorino's indifference to the the bat boy falling is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....

Let's Watch Larissa Riquelme "Compete" In Some Sort Of "Reggaeton Dance Contest"
Last night, Paraguay Cell Phone Girl Larissa Riquelme sent out a link called "Así concluyó el duelo de reggaetón" via Twitter. The loose translation is "Thus ended the duel of reggaetón." She's not wearing much, ends up with a belt looped around her neck and gets high marks from the judges. So the...

Today Was The Day "Mandingo Cock Deasel" Became An American Hero
His name is Eddie Evans. His superpower is rescuing his fellow man from a burning car at a Chevron gas station in DeKalb County, Ga. His choice of attire is what makes him the Stuff Of Legend....

Justin Tuck: If The Jets Are Kings Of NYC, Where's Their Crown?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: shots fired. Pew pew....

This Atlanta Sports Radio Guy Dares You To Call Him A Homer
Beau Bock was born and raised in the Bronx and played college football at Miami, but he's been a sports radio guy in Atlanta since 1973. We learned this about him (and quite a bit more) when we read through the even-tempered and very detailed 3,000-word partial autobiography on his website today....

Jurgen Klinsmann: America's Newest Soccer Jesus
Jurgen Klinsmann was introduced to the media this week as the new coach of the U.S. men's soccer team, a development in the making ever since the U.S. Soccer Federation batted eyelashes at Klinsmann before the 2006 World Cup. The coach spurned the USSF then, and instead led Germany to a third-place...

How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....