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Of The Four Goals Chivas Scored Against Barcelona Tonight, This One's The Best
This was Marco Fabian's second goal for Chivas de Guadalajara in its friendly vs. FC Barcelona tonight. In the end, it was the game winner, but Chivas would score another pair for good measure....

Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Video Of Michelle Beadle, Clay Matthews Strolling To ESPY Party Surfaces; She Still Denies Fucking Him
The video was taken by something called "PopCandies TV" and was sent to us by an anonymous tipster who suggests that it's enough evidence to prove that Beadle and Clay Matthews were somewhat super-friendly that enchanted evening, more so than she let on. It shows Beadle, Matthews and others stroll...

Here's Video Of A Brawl During The Dolphin Show At A Russian Oceanarium
We've presented you with a lot of fights and/or boobs for your viewing pleasure. This is probably the first instance of a dolphin-witnessed fracas in an "oceanarium," though. Flipper shouldn't be subjected to this half-assed take on The Outsiders, but we should....

Did Michelle Beadle Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked" After The ESPYs? ESPN Wants To Know
Two weeks ago, after serving as ESPN's show pony during their annual ESPY Awards, Michelle Beadle hit many of the late-night parties around Los Angeles. She readily admits that. After all, she hadn't gone out at all after last year's event. And she even admits that, upon her return from L.A., she wa...

Apparently, Larry Fitzgerald Has Always Wanted To Be A Viking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: that's what his father says anyway....

Pro Tennis Player Flies To Wrong Carlsbad For Carlsbad Tennis Tournament
Bojana Jovanovski, a 19-year-old female tennis pro who hails from Belgrade, Serbia, can be forgiven for not knowing American cities in great detail. We should not be the ones pointing fingers for that area of expertise, anyway. But we would expect her agent to double check the location of her tennis...

A Minor League Team Was Two Feet From Disaster
As the old saying ought to go, nothing good comes from taking a wrong turn to Staten Island....

Yadier Molina Just Wants Someone To Listen To Him
Your morning roundup for Aug. 3, the day we ate zombie meat. Photo via Sports Grid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Bruce Pearl May Be Headed To The D-League
Former Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl is likely set to take over the Texas Legends, the Dallas Maverick's D-League affiliate that went 24-26 and made it to the playoffs in the 16-team, two-conference organization last season. ESPN's Marc Stein reported the team's initial invitation this afternoon, and ...

The Official Deadspin Guide To Booger Growth
I built a new PC this weekend, and by "I built it" I mean I stood there while my brother-in-law, who knows a lot about computers, assembled it. I probably should have washed the Sun Chips cheese powder off my hands before touching the processor. It's very cool to sit there for a day and take a look ...

Miami Cries Out For A Neckbearded Savior
Lo, the echoing green of Sun Life Stadium. A scrimmage, Dolphin against Dolphin, for the hearts and minds of the Dolphin faithful. And who should presume to represent the faithful, their unshattered, unshaken loyalty, their loyal teal? A leader; a general; a man....

Somebody Needs To Tell Hunter Pence To Lay Off The Donuts
Your morning roundup for Aug. 2, the day shoplifting just didn't pay. Photo via The 700 Level. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

Kevin Kolb Says It's Time For Him To Be "Unleashed"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Release the Kolb Kraken!...

Ohio State Can't Find Their Hitler Tree
Don't you hate it when you misplace your Nazi Olympic souvenir? [NPR]...

Dear Grantland: Have You Never Heard of Motörhead?
While readers wait for ESPN's Grantland to provide a space for comments and corrections, Deadspin continues to help the startup by accepting and publishing feedback. Comments below reflect the opinions of Grantland readers and are not necessarily the views of Deadspin. Readers who have additional co...

If The Lockout Persists, Kobe Bryant Has a Highlight Reel That Might Interest The LA Galaxy
Your morning roundup for Aug. 1, the day we learned what booze is doing to Britain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....