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If You Want To Call Jose Canseco, His Number Is 818-903-6598
So says the Miami New Times, anyway. Do it, if you have the patience!...

Your MLB All-Star Game Open Thread
The game counts, as does this thread. So what if so many selected players have bailed on the competition—including Jeter? You've got Craig Kimbrel and Jonny Venters and Aaron Crow and Ricky Romero. The players you'll tell your grandkids you saw....

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...

Hope Solo: "We'll Be Bringing Home The Cup"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the a guarantee from the goalkeeper....

Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....

The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...

Winner And New Heavyweight Champion Of The World, This Guy's Belly
Your morning roundup for July 12, the day we said goodbye to Stoner Avenue. Photo via BlackSportsOnline....

What To Do When You Realize That Horrible Smell Is You
Experts say that to eliminate body odor, one should stick to a diet rich in vegetables and take chlorophyll supplements and wear loose-fitting clothing and bathe regularly and always wear socks with closed-toe shoes and think only pleasant, floral thoughts. But that advice is worth fuck-all when you...

The Fan Who Caught Jeter's Ball Still Has A Few Hundred Thousand Dollars In Student Loan Debt
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Christian Lopez probably should have taken an econ class....

Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

The Gruesome Reason This Has Been The Best Tour De France Yet
They finally figured it out - men cycling on an open road is boring. But add some obstacles: cars, bikes, barbed wire, random spectators, all out to stop the riders by any means necessary, and we've got ourselves a sport. A living video game. Here's why we've been loving the first week of DeathFran...

Derek Jeter Is On A Mission From God
Your morning roundup for July 11, the day we canceled our tickets to Rio. Photo taken at St. Joseph's on Capitol Hill, Washington D.C., by Brian J. McLaughlin....

Make This North Dakota TV Sports Reporter Go Poor — For A Good Cause
For one more hour, KELO sports reporter Jim Madalinsky has promised to donate one dollar of his own salary for every new Facebook "like" he gets to Minot River flood relief. (That's in North Dakota). Go see if you can make him regret that decision. For some background, read the email below....

Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, The Dodgers And Cliff Lee All Had Shining Moments Yesterday
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces....

In His Latest Meltdown, Jose Canseco Decided To Publicize His Girlfriend's Phone Number, Drug Of Choice
What started with Jose Canseco's Thursday announcement that "I am asking leila shennib to marry me .will you marry me" has somehow gone off the rails. Imagine that....

Concussed Cyclist Doesn't Remember Finishing Yesterday's Stage Of The Tour De France
Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....

Matt Leinart Is Totally Working Out Every Day For When The Lockout Ends, You Guys
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the free agent on his freedom....

We’re Going To Live Forever By Killing Ourselves And Going To Digital Heaven
Earlier this week, a scientist named Aubrey de Grey (that is such a drag queen name) made waves by announcing to the press that the first person to live 150 years has probably already been born, and that it may not be long before human beings are able to live 1,000 years, if not longer, thanks to ge...

Cockblocked By Tyler Thigpen!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....