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SprtsCntr: There Is Only The NFL
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Michele Tafoya Seems To Be Staring At Whatever Al Michaels Finds So Funny
Your morning roundup for Sept. 9, the day we didn't realize we were on the air. Photo courtesy Getty Images, via Homer Bush. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Two Ladies Enter This Street Fight, One Leaves Topless (NSFW)
Thirty-two seconds into this Rockwellian portrait of a place called Trendwood, one participant in an apartment-complex parking-lot fracas places her breasts back into some sort of garment. They don't stay hidden very long, playing very prominent roles from 0:45-1:30....

A Man In "Crotchless Chaps-Style Spandex With His Genitals And Buttocks Showing" Played With Fire
There are bizarre police-beat stories, and there are really bizarre police-beat stories. This one from Seattle falls into the latter category. To wit:...

Your First Game Of The NFL Regular Season Open Thread
Phillippi Sparks's daughter will sing the United States of America's national anthem. Then, the New Orleans Saints will try to cover a 4.5-point spread against the defending Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers. Al Roker and Kid Rock will be there....

Pig Poops On Own Balls (Photo NSFW Because Pig Is Pooping On Its Own Giant Balls)
Adjectives offered by Deadspin staff to describe the pig's balls: Large, weighty, absurd, massive, ponderous, colossal, tumescent, tumorous, pendulous, prodigious, balls heavy with hot pig bloatum. A.J.'s mostly concerned with the eggplant-sized poop. We all wonder if the pig might be sick, and we ...

Oscar De La Hoya Wore A Full-Body Fishnet, Because, C'mon, Who Doesn't After A Few Drinks?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Golden Boy is getting clean and coming clean....

The Flying Squirrel, Like The Cleveland Indians' Playoff Hopes, Is Getting Away
Your morning roundup for Sept. 8, the day we learned we could buy Marty McFly's shoes. Photo via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Today In Great Headlines
Arkansas weatherman Brett Cummins found in hot tub with naked dead man wearing 'dog collar': police [New York Daily News] (H/T Steve P.)...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Saddled with an opening week loss that was blamed on referees and/or improper footwear, the Knox City Greyhounds needed something big to happen....

This Week's Florida Youth-Football Fight Involved A Cheerleader, Her Mom, Her Coach And Two Other Teens
"Yolanda Jones was the only adult arrested after the fight at JC Turner Field in South St. Petersburg. Jones told police she was trying to protect her cheerleader daughter who had come under attack. The coach, who is also Jones' daughter, said she joined the fight too. 'We started fighting, becaus...

Found: Ole Miss Hat Girl Is Hanna Nutt, Coach's Daughter
Ryan, one of our readers, had been captivated by the Girl In The Hat while watching BYU-Ole Miss the other day—so much so that he asked us to assemble the I-Team to learn her identity. And last night, we went to work....

Aaron Rodgers, Everybody Wants To Know: What Do You Think Of Tony Plush?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: This is also the first thing we would ask a reigning Super Bowl MVP....

Deadspin Hall Of Fame 2011: It's Time To Nominate The Worthiest
Greetings, sub-humans. It's that time of the year again, when some of the readership would like to recognize those sporty individuals in our small universe of the internet for their accomplishments off the field . Even though the winners will be announced during the SHOTY competition closer to the e...

Phillies OF John Mayberry, Jr. Has Requested That His Agents Set Him Up With The Sexy Mermaid From <i>Pirates Of The Caribbean</i>
John Mayberry, Jr. is a man who knows what he wants. One cannot, after all, become the Phillies' best pinch-hitter without knowing what he wants. But Mayberry is still missing something. Evidently, that something is the Sexy Mermaid from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides....

One Way To Get Coordinated Is To Stop Picking Your Nose
Your morning roundup for Sept. 7, the day we learned to see the positives in Tasers. H/T to Joe for the picky screen grab from NFL.com's fantasy home page. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Nick Nolte Admits Late Night <em>Warrior</em> Boozing In Random Pittsburgh Apartment Was Bad Idea
Nick Nolte gave a candid interview to Movieline about the very Nick Nolte evening he got himself into while trapped in Pittsburgh on the set of the Tom Hardy brawl-fest Warrior. Amazingly, Nolte, age 70, straightened himself out in time before he ended up splashed all over The Smoking Gun again....

This Evening: Ole Miss Hat Girl Has Creepy Online Suitors
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 6, the day we discovered a huge-ass crocodile. Reader Ryan sent the above photo and wrote, "I lost a bill on this game but it was worth it when a camera caught this girl. I found out my future wife is in Oxford but I need your help. Can we get some intel on this young la...

Tim Tebow's Jersey Sales Are Down Because They're "All Out Of Size Sexy"
The Messiah Watch is officially on alert: Last week we learned that Tim Tebow's Broncos jersey—once record-setting—is only the tenth most popular in the NFL. This bright Denver man suggests that retailers must be "all out of size sexy"; another non-believer in KDVR's segment suggests it's because ...

Doug Flutie's Daughter Is A Patriots Cheerleader, After Four Rejections
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Alexa Flutie found the fifth time's a charm....