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The Dangers Of Handjobs From Softball Players
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Mike Leach: "ESPN Isn’t Going To Let Little Inconvenient Details Like Facts Get In The Way Of Their Agenda"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leach is the only one not under a gag order....

Reno Mahe, Who Once Returned Kicks, Now Allegedly Takes Gasoline
Reno Mahe spent five years in the NFL, all with the Philadelphia Eagles, for whom he was mainly a return man. Now, authorities in Salt Lake City say he took nearly $2,700 in gasoline by using a friend's corporate account. The 31-year-old spent a little time in jail Thursday after being charged with ...

Prince Fielder Really Needs To Borrow Your Sunglasses
Your morning roundup for July 15, the day we forgot....

1989's Back Again, In The SkyDome Opening That Featured Thousands Of Canadians Capering About, Plus Alan Thicke
Toronto's Rogers Centre was introduced in June 1989 as the SkyDome, at a time when the name "SkyDome" suggested an exciting future full of retractable roofs and mud-free Argonauts games, which we'd have to agree are two of the greatest developments of the past twenty-plus years....

Even Rodney Harrison Thinks James Harrison Is An Angry Person
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: when even the league's dirtiest player is offended, maybe you've gone too far....

Mets Reliever Taylor Buchholz, On DL For Depression, Says He Felt Bad Crying To Another Man
Taylor Buchholz—who was actually decent in 26 relief innings for the Mets this year—is on the DL with depression. This is not altogether unusual: note Khalil Greene and Dontrelle Willis. What's unusual is the way Buchholz described his condition and the way AOL Patch explained his condition further....

Despite Jeff Novitzky's Life's Work, Cheating At Sports Is Still Not A Crime
Jeff Novitzki was an IRS agent. Not an avenging angel sent from above, nor an earthly crusader for all that is good and pure in America, but a bureaucrat. Somewhere along the way he got it into his mind that it was his job and his job alone (and his only job) to eradicate the peril of steroids in sp...

The Miami Heat Are World Champions Of Doing Whatever It Takes To Defeat Children In Knockout
We'll give Dwyane Wade credit for taking a more playful approach to the game than his teammate, but my god, these guys just won't lose! (Except for those times that they lost.)...

Harry Potter Versus Star Wars: The Final Judgment
The final Harry Potter movie opens up this week, and all week long people have been saying "goodbye" to the franchise. Lots of crying in your butterbeer and all that....

Brian Wilson Wore A Skin-Tight Tuxedo Onesie To The ESPYs
Your morning roundup for July 14, the day we watch Dog get shaken down by bro with a camera in Colorado....

Here's Video Of A Brawl At A California Denny's (NSFW)
It's difficult to decide what's worse: the racist bile in the video description on YouTube or the ladyfriend's screeching. Ladies and gentlemen, the Laguna Hills, Cal. Denny's. Shit gets real when girlfriend charges a foe 53 seconds in....

Parents Of Armless, Legless Aspiring Cheerleader Claim "Scoring Errors" Kept Her Off The Squad
If what the Omaha World-Herald says is true, 16-year-old Julia Sullivan "likes to dance [and] wants to get people excited for games." Following those passions, she tried out to join her friends on the cheerleading squad not once, not twice, but three times....

Awaiting the ESPYs, But (Still) Missing Norm MacDonald
It's the Wednesday after the MLB All-Star Game, which means if the Triple-A All-Star Game isn't your bag, your only other "sports" programming option for the evening is the ESPYs. Seth Meyers is hosting, but don't count on the gags to be nearly as subversive as some at the WWL will have you believe...

Deadspin Gives Back
It was through tipster Len G.'s "newest favorite billboard in New Orleans" that we met da Gonorrhea BREAKER, da Crabs ASSASSIN, da Chlamydia CRUSHER, da HIV Awareness ENFORCER, Lady STD KILLA, da Condom FATHER, da Trich TERMINATOR, da Syphilis ELIMINATOR, da Herpes HIT WOMAN and da HPV SLAPPER....

Duchess Kate Is The Future Queen Of Mutton Bustin'
Here are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surveying the remains of empire at the Calgary Stampede. The Duchess, according to the indispensable (and endearingly capitalized) official website of The British Monarchy, "is a keen sportswoman, and has been involved in many different sports over the year...

Bud Selig Thinks This Is The Last Year For The Playoffs As We Know Them
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Commish is ready for change....

Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...

Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....

Heath Bell Is A Crazy Person
Your morning roundup for July 13, the day we met, and then ran away from, Magnet Boy....