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And When It Was All Over, Rory McIlroy Sought Solace In The Arms Of Vince McMahon's Kid
Your morning roundup for April 11, the day we remembered that Sidney Lumet also directed The Wiz....

Your Final Round Of The Masters Open Thread
There's a story on the Masters website about how Rory McIlroy and Jason Day set aside the "fun and frivolity" of "talking about random stuff, about Florida, jumping on Sea-Doos" during yesterday's round. Oh, those crazy kids....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

No Strikes, but One Out as Labor Unrest Hovers Over Video Games
For a brief moment Tuesday, I wasn't sure we'd be seeing any basketball video game this year, even though I'd taken for granted that NBA 2K12 would release, a death-and-taxes sure thing in October for more than 10 years.… [Kotaku] ...

Your Masters Open Thread
Tiger Woods and KJ Choi are scheduled to tee off at 2:35 p.m., with Jason Day and Rory McIlroy to follow 10 minutes later. CBS coverage of the third day of the Masters commences at 3:30 p.m. If you can't wait that long, there's live coverage online, too....

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Cockblocked By Weed Addiction!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Mystery Solved: Courtside Guy At Bulls Games Is Matt Pritzker, And He Is Very, Very Rich
I-Team, you may stand down. So many of you have written in to solve today's mystery about the young fellow who sits courtside at Chicago Bulls games....

I-Team, Do You Know Who This Perpetually Courtside Bulls Fan Is?
Busy day for you guys, we recognize. But tipster Tom has written in with a pressing question:...

College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....

Ray Allen Calls Post-Game Interviews "Therapeutic," Secures His Place As Media's Darling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ray Allen reveals that he is abnormal and looks forward to post-game interviews....

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

25 Jager Bombs For Only $223.75 Canadian Dollars! An Analysis Of The Epic Receipt From "The #1 Sports Bar In North America."
Here's what I like about this receipt, a full version of which you can view here: You can actually track the progressive drunkeness of whatever pack of Canadian hyenas to which it belongs by their orders. Let's see...they sensibly start with food — nachos, sliders, voodoo shrimp, chicken tenders; an...

The Name Of The Year Bracket Is Out! Taco Monster Says NOM NOM NOM NOM
The Name of the Year Bracket has been released! Holy RexAchilles! That means it's time for Spencer Hall and I to formally go through the bracket in our annual Name of the Year podcast. You can listen here, or click the iTunes link to the show here. Quickly, let me take you through the top four seeds...

Cats vs. Dogs: We Have A Winner!
So it was written, and so it was done. Corgi, winner of the Dog Conference, has narrowly defeated Cat Conference champ Tuxedo. It took blood, sweat, and thousands of votes, but now it's official: DOGS ARE BETTER. Canines are the superior pet, plain and simple. But getting here wasn't easy. [Jezebel]...

Sherrie Daly Identifies The "Four Groups Of Hookers" On The PGA Tour
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

This "He Said, She Said" Trial Involving An Ex-NL West Outfielder Is Getting Weird
Of course, we're talking about the palimony case of Olvera v. [Brian] Giles. What did you think we were talking about? Giles' ex-girlfriend is suing him for $10 million that he allegedly promised her after their breakup....

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....