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Excuse Our Excretory Humor
OK, we're going entirely from memory here, since we haven't been able to find anything else about the exchange on the Web, but that's fine, we'd like to take credit for seeing it anyway. It will reveal just how puerile we really are....
NFL Roundup: Fore!
• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If t...
Week In Deadspin: Killing The Messengers
• For the last time, please do not let your children go to the University of Miami. • More athlete run-in stories than anyone could possibly handle. • MLB.com and Scott Stapp are here TO ROCK YOU. • Wait ... professors at USC actually expect players to attend class? What kind of racket you people ...
A T.O And Rosenhaus Thanksgiving
Every wonder what a Terrell Owens-Drew Rosenhaus Thanksgiving might have been like? Blogger The Mighty MJD has, and, in what has to be a sports blog first, actually writes short story about it. It's just Owens and Rosenhaus, alone in a room, each silent in their thoughts as they watch Jeff Garcia ...
Happy Thanksgiving, Fellow Consumers!
Well, we're checking out early here today, because it's the day before Thanksgiving, and if we don't get out of here now, we're going to end up spending Turkey Day trapped in this dead, lonely, Alanis Morissette-spewing surburban Starbucks, the only place we can find around here with wireless acce...
Eagles Finally Get A Win!
Well, that settles that, then: Arbitrator Richard Bloch has ruled against Terrell Owens, whose suspension will remain throughout the rest of the season. It has come to the point that the Eagles, frankly, will take any victory they can right now....
Will T.O.'s "Dick Suspension" Stand?
As we await with slightly baited air the decision from arbitrator Richard Bloch on Terrell Owens' suspension — Newsday is reporting that the suspension will be reduced — we admit we have mixed feelings on the case. On the one hand, yeah, the Eagles are totally justified in getting rid of him. By a...
Bring Us Your Tired And Your Poor
Our bean-counting corporate overlords at Gawker Media have asked us to direct you to one of those reader survey things, where you click on little numbers of demographic information that tell us what kind ... you know, honestly, we don't really understand what this survey is for, and that's kind of...
Until Next Year, Donovan
The news just broke, if it can be counting as "news" or "breaking:" Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb will miss the rest of the season after having surgery on his hernia, a surgery that sounds deeply unpleasant all kinds of thoughts here, not the least of which that by the time McNabb plays again,...
NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...
Chad Johnson Loves Even Non-Lesbian Cheerleaders
We know the Bengals lost yesterday, but it's pretty obvious now that Chad Johnson is our favorite player in the NFL. He has brought a new, brilliant quality to touchdown celebrations: The backstory. Earlier this year, Johnson did the Riverdance against the Bears that might very well have been mock...
Week In Deadspin: Blogging With Elisha
• Ah, Miami, Miami, how we love thee. The Seventh Floor Crew brings Hurricanes football back to its roots. • Beware Jeff Fisher at a craps table, Shaquille O'Neal on the dance floor, Tim Duncan in Chapel Hill and Matt Leinart anywhere near beans. • It is not a good time to be an Eagles fan. • We r...
T.O.'s Last, Desperate Plea
Right now, members of the NFL Players Union (along with Terrell Owens and agent spawn Drew Rosenhaus) are sitting in an conference room in the Airport Marriott outside Philadelphia, arguing with the Eagles to arbitrator Richard Bloch that he should be able to play again this season. As fans, we're...
Authors With Pure Hearts: Jere Longman
It has been brought to our attention that, as much as people might like our Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks feature, sometimes it's nice to point out good sportswriting. We agree; we're very friendly people and love great sportswriting as much, if not more, than anyone. Henceforth, we introduce ou...
Vlade Divac Doesn't Want To Kill You
We'll confess a pretty strong affinity for Vlade Divac, if just because he's the only player in recent NBA history who sneaks a cigarette during timeouts. Well, as we were alerted by YAYSports!, Vlade is apparently in trouble with his home country of Serbia-Montenegro for, get this, skimping out o...
T.O.'s Suddenly Fluid Finances
Yesterday, we told you about Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens selling his Moorestown, N.J. home for $4.3 million. Well, as some of you pointed out, T.O. apparently is gonna go homeless for a while; he's selling his Atlanta home too. This one, probably because of that insane Georgia real estate m...
Blogdom's Best: Philadelphia Eagles
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...
T.O. Needs Your Spare Change
You'd heard that Terrell Owens' house was for sale, but now you can see it all official-like: T.O's Moorestown, N.J. home, at 40 Landing Court, is right there, with an asking price of a mere $4,399,000. (Strangely enough, we think T.O. could probably use the money right now.)...
The Woe Of The Eagles Fan
There was a moment last night, during the Eagles' season-crushing 21-20 loss to the Cowboys, when you really grasped just how difficult it must be to be an Eagles fan. Ordinarily, we scoff when fans of successful teams complain about their suffering; we root for the Arizona freaking Cardinals, so ...
If You Can Read This, We're Working.
Your eyes are not fooling you; for some strange reason this morning, the headlines on all of our stories are not showing up. We're writing them, we're posting them, they're just not making it to the site. We assure you, however, they are absolutely brilliant....