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Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Your Royal Wedding Open Thread
Right, so this is about to happen. Don't even pretend like you've above this, because you watch pro sports, and there's nothing less inherently important than pro sports. Also, David Beckham got an invite, so this is relevant....

How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
There's single second-round game on the lineup. The Nashville Predators visit the Vancouver Canucks. It may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to the Green Men....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
In tonight's games, the Orlando Magic, New Orleans Hornets and Portland Trailblazers have an opportunity to extend their opening-round series to a seventh, and decisive, game. Orlando visits Atlanta at 7:30 p.m. eastern. The Hornets host the Lakers a half-hour later. The Blazers welcome the Maveric...

Real Madrid Is So Butthurt Right Now
Real Madrid's official website has produced a short video purporting to show that Pepe didn't deserve his red card in yesterday's Clásico, complete with zooms, isos, and super slow mo shots. They've also cited the learned opinions of the legends of the game, like Rio Ferdinand and, er, Chad Ochocinc...

John Daly, Marriage Expert, Thinks Tiger Wasn't Getting Enough Sex In His
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a man with four ex-wives dispenses advice on happy golf marriages....

The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan
Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well....

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Here's Video Of An Egyptian Soccer Player Named Shadi Mohamed Apparently Spitting On His Goalie
It didn't much matter to Mohamed Sobhi that he and his Ismaily teammates were up 3-2 in the waning moments of their match against El Gounah. What mattered most to the goalkeeper was that he apparently thought his defender Shadi Mohamed spat in his face after some action in front of the net....

Both Barcelona And Real Madrid Managed To Embarrass Real Madrid During, After El Clásico IV
FC Barcelona's Lionel Messi, unarguably the best soccer player on the face of the Earth, scored two goals within 11 minutes during Wednesday's first-leg UEFA Champions League semifinal match against Real Madrid....

Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...

<em>Madden</em> Gets in Trouble for Outing a Team's New Uniform
EA Sports uploaded - then quickly yanked - a YouTube video teasing Madden NFL 12 Madden junkies love to pick these things apart for clues about this year's new features. In so doing, they also found the Buffalo Bills' new… [Kotaku] ...

Figure Skater Gracefully Elbows The Shit Out Of Her Partner's Face
At the world figure skating championships today, Canadian Eric Radford took the full force of his spinning partner's elbow to the face at the start of their routine. The graceful attack came at the end of a triple Lutz-twist lift, which is apparently a thing that people know about — and even with ...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Let's look at tonight's pair of Game Sevens through the lens of potential second-round match-ups....

Peyton Hillis Is <em>Madden NFL 12</em>'s Cover Star
Fans selected Peyton Hillis, the Cleveland Browns running back, to grace the cover of Madden NFL 12. Hillis prevailed in a five-week, tournament style vote-off that drew nearly 13 million votes, and was the final round winner over Philadelphia Eagles… [Kotaku] ...

Your Real Madrid-Barcelona Tercero Clásico Open Thread
Lots of really awesome and famous soccer players will play soccer against each other in Madrid in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. Cristiano Ronaldo will wow. Lionel Messi will wow. And the two team coaches, er, managers, will definitely wow. They always do. Sometimes the action ...

Diamondbacks Front Office Uses All-Star Game As Excuse To Lip Synch Worst Song Ever Created
Somebody in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization decided that the best way for the staff to promote the 2011 MLB All-Star Game, which will be held at Phoenix's Chase Field on July 12, was to dub Smash Mouth's "All Star." We're impressed by the unity and enthusiasm shared by the organization, but ...

Patrick Kane Needs A Drink
Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda....