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The Officeworker's Viewing Guide To March Madness
Since we did our very best to ignore the play-in games, the NCAA men's tournament officially kicks off with Clemson-West Virginia today just after noon EDT on CBS. In the olden times, watching the opening game required a 3D television (and by that I mean, of course, one that was more than three inch...

Let's Marvel At D-Wade's Two-Handed Dunk, And Laugh At His Celebration In A Game They Would Lose
Wade's vertical should be measured in Bibbys instead of inches here, throwing one down (way down) in the second quarter of last night's game against OKC. Are we bringing back the Cabbage Patch? Let's not bring back the Cabbage Patch....

Four Shining Moments Reenacted By Lego Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for March 17, the day when the Apostle of Ireland's deathiversary contributes to many facets of the American economy. Act as responsibly as you see fit, folks....

Transgender Thai Wows TV-Show Audience With Bait-And-Switch Performance
Did you catch "Thailand's Got Talent" this week? If not, you missed a competitor much like Susan Boyle if Susan Boyle was a singer named Bell Nuntita who looks and sounds like a female angel until the masculine bass comes out to shine....

Remembering The Time Shaq And Nate Dogg "Made Paper And Footprints In LA"
There was no shortage of tributes to the late great G-funk singer Nate Dogg today — he died in Los Angeles on Tuesday at the age of 41 — but we haven't yet seen this music video posted. The song, "Connected," was made for Shaq's never-released 2001 album, Shaquille O'Neal Presents His Superfriends...

Science! Picks Your NCAA Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: running the tournament through a simulator, then doing it again 50,000 times....

Ochocinco Invited To Try Out For MLS Team In Savvy MLS Publicity Gambit
Sporting Kansas City received more single-day publicity today than it has in possibly eternity by inviting publicity provocateur and soccer hobbyist Chad Ochocinco to audition for the team. Does Ochocinco have a realistic shot at making the team? Psssh. Will he be faster than Omar Bravo, the gifted...

Thad Matta Testified Under Oath That The Fab Five Were Not The Best Recruiting Class Of All Time
Today, Grant Hill responded to Jalen Rose's "Uncle Tom" comment in the New York Times college sports blog. The piece, which is thoughtful and compelling and worth a read, ended with the kicker, "I am proud I never lost a game against the Fab Five." Fire....

Here Are Some Famous People's Brackets That You Thought We Should Know About
Take from this what you will: Colin Cowherd's bracket is strikingly similar to President Obama's bracket. For the record, Cowherd went a little chalkier. [h/t concerned readers]...

The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68, Part I
It’s that time of year again. Time to break out the roasting jacket and say horrible, awful, incredibly mean-spirited things about every school participating in the NCAA tournament. And while I fucking hate the new 68-team bracket, that does give us a chance to hate on three extra schools this go r...

Casey the Bully-Breaking "Zangief Kid" Gets the <em>Street Fighter</em> Remix He Deserves
Casey Heynes, now immortalized—overmortalized?—in this video that mixes back in all the sound and visual effects we all heard in our mind when we first watched Casey piledrive his bully into the schoolyard concrete. [Kotaku]...

Cease And Desist, Baby! Vitale's Management Asks Website To Take Cartoon Down
PM Sports, a newish site which markets itself as a site for "sports-centric comedic videos that blur the lines between wrong and wrong," posted the above cartoon in February. It's a fairly whimsical premise: the impolitic Vitale, bored without March Madness games, causing a ruckus at a funeral....

Roger Goodell Almost Certainly Fell Asleep In A Tanning Bed Before This ESPN Interview
Your morning roundup for March 16, the day we lost frequent Em and Dre collaborator Nate Dogg....

Mystery Solved: Middle-Aged Canucks Fans Threw Fish On Saddledome Ice
From the "NHL is not a minor league" Dept.: some mystery folks at Pengrowth Scotiabank Saddledome threw a big-ass salmon on the ice during Saturday night's game. Nearly ruined Hockey Night in Canada....

Frivolous Study Says American People Are Kind Of Silly About Steroids
A new study, commissioned by the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA), notes that Americans (9,000 were surveyed) consider performance-enhancing drug use "the most serious problem in sports today."...

Michelle Beadle, Matthew Barnaby Stricken By Bristol Love Virus
Michelle Beadle, oft regarded as the "most beloved ESPN personality in history" by, like, two or three people who work there has been in a serious relationship with Worldwide Leading hockey analyst and former pesky shit-stirrer, Matthew Barnaby, reports The Big Lead....

Really, Montreal Fans? A Protest Against Head Shots <em>Now</em>?
Tonight, before the Habs' game against the Capitals, a couple thousand fans will rally outside the Bell Centre to demand that something be done about head shots in hockey. Except it's a lot more likely they're really agitating for something to be done about the head shot on Max Pacioretty....

Donovan McNabb Is A College Basketball Analyst, Maybe Still A Redskin?
CSN announced that Redskins QB Donovan McNabb will join their ranks as a college basketball analyst during the first round of the NCAA tournament. McNabb was a football star at Syracuse, but also walked on to the basketball team and played two seasons as a reserve. According to Dan Steinberg of th...

Shit-Stirring Writer, Coach's Mom Both Pick Temple For The Final Four
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a couple of folks have high hopes for Fran Dunphy's team....

This Is What It Feels Like To Be Almost Killed By A Baseball. Twice.
Freak accidents like the one Gunnar Sandberg experienced last year are a terrifying part of the game. I've been hit in the head with a baseball twice — once as a pitcher and once as a hitter, which is in the video you see here. These incidents occurred within 18 months of each other. The first tim...