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American Brutalizes Canada With Sensational Goal In Jamaica
Nathan Smith, defender from California, robbed Canada of its desire to compete and live on Sunday when he scored this incredible goal during extra time of the 2011 CONCACAF U-17 championship in Montego Bay, Jamaica. The goal broke the 450-minute shutout streak of Canadian keeper Maxime Crepeau, wh...

Donald Sterling Wants You To Know He Cares About Black People
Here's your morning roundup for Feb. 28, the day an ESPN cameraman may have lost a job....

Totally Amped Male Cheerleader Almost Cost Louisville A Game
A guy who feels inclined to formally root, root, root for the Louisville Cardinals men's basketball team decided to rally himself out onto the court with 0.3 seconds left in overtime of today's game vs. Pittsburgh. Per the CBS announcers, Pitt got two free throws for the technical violation. The s...

Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...

Rip Hamilton Yelled At Coach John Kuester So Hard The Younger Pistons Were Mortified
Your morning roundup for Feb. 27, the day that Earth's show-business sect finally recognizes all that Queen Amidala of Naboo has done for them, and for all the rebellion....

Phillies Prospect Upset That Coke Charges Brought His Character Into Question
When young outfielder Tyson Gillies came to the Phillies organization via the 2009 Cliff Lee-to-Seattle trade, they probably didn't expect that cops would find him on the side of the road waving his shirt all happy-like, and cocaine in the backseat of the car in which the cop drove him home. But th...

Your Good Day For College Basketball Fans Open Thread
Syracuse at Georgetown is about to tip off. The game comes about two weeks after the Hoyas won in the Land of Orange, but they'll be without Chris Wright, whose 93-consecutive-starts streak will end....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Mets Owners Max Out MLB's Credit Line, Start Putting Stuff On Their Mom's Neiman Marcus Card
It's official, everybody: the Mets are broke. Wait, you knew that already. But now they're officially really, really broke. They're so broke, they just put all their CDs and VHS tapes up for auction. Where else will you find Jungle 2 Jungle and its soundtrack in one place, both lightly used? Well, B...

Enter Madness: Jimmer Fredette And Four More Will Play At San Diego State Tomorrow
The two greatest phenomena of this year's college basketball season, BYU folk hero Jimmer Fredette and 27-1 San Diego State University, will play tomorrow at 2 p.m. EST in San Diego's Viejas Arena. And not to cause one of those "ohmygodit'smaypril!" moments for you, but March begins on Tuesday, and...

And Here's The Inevitable Blake Griffin Kia Commercial
A lot of us really enjoyed the NBA Slam Dunk Contest last weekend, which brought back a little luster to an informal, if hotly debated demonstration of the sport's signature play. Well, the climax of the contest wasn't a contest at all, nor a schoolyard top-this played out on a grand stage. No, we...

Jonny Gomes Would Prefer Not To Get Drilled In The Temple, Thank You
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the dancing was completely unrelated to Wainwright's injury....

Your Filth-Laden Deadspin Oscar Preview
Did you know one of the nominated movies on Sunday night is a disgusting Greek film that features hardcore incest? I did not. That's why I roped in Leitch to do a drive-by Deadcast previewing this year's ceremony, which is sure to be boring and stupid and contain any number of needless musical inter...

Curling "Grudge Match" Outdraws NHL Game By Half A Million Viewers
There was a big curling game last night at the Tournament of Hearts in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island. So big, in fact, that the Winnipeg Free-Press called it a "battle royale,", the Toronto Sun called it a "grudge match," and The Curling News wondered if it could be "the most compelling women'...

Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

These Are The Top 10 Songs Played At Sporting Events
Alternate headline: I am old and I think young people have terrible taste in music. Via RandBall, music licensing company BMI has compiled the 10 songs played most often at stadiums and arenas during the '09-'10 season. It's a year out of date, but it's probably still pretty accurate. Just replace...

Major League Booger-Picking, Possible Booger-Eating In Montreal
Sorry chum, hate to call you out on this, but you've got seats behind the bench, and with our jealously comes the desire to make fun of you for going to town on (inter)national TV....

Pacman Jones Wears A Neck Brace To Court, Has His "Life In Order," Gets A Year Probation
Your morning roundup for Feb. 25, the day you can feel safer because the Army may have used mind-control ops to persuade U.S. Senators to throw more war-bucks and war-flesh their way....

Exonerated Duke Lax Player Disputes $6.5 Million Tax Bill
The federal taxman says Reade Seligmann, he of the Duke wrongful-rape-accusation scandal, owes the IRS $6,492,377 million in income tax. The income in question came from 2007, which is the same year Seligmann et al reached a settlement with the school to "eliminate the possibility of future litigat...