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Another Favremobile, Suitable For Taking The Kids To Soccer Practice
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Scoring Bonanza Goal Roundup
The Clasico match between Barcelona and Real Madrid was absurdly lopsided. Barca netted five goals in an utter domination of Cristiano and the rest of Jose Mourinho's crew. Enjoy our compilation of the bloodletting....

Matt Cassel Liked Sticking It To Pete Carroll
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Chiefs QB is somewhere over Dwayne Bowe, so to speak....

At Long Last, My Reunion With Red Meat
For 14 years, I ate only poultry and fish. Last year, I started eating beef and pork again. So what's it like to return to red meat after all this time? LIKE FUCKING HEAVEN....

Your Barcelona/Real Madrid Second Half Open Thread
It's 2-0 Barcelona at Camp Nou. I know I'm not the only person asking myself 1) Why did Ronaldo get away with shoving Barca coach Pep Guardiola without taking fist to face and 2) Messi really dove, didn't he?...

Rejoice! Alcoholic Whipped Cream Is Here To Replace Four Loko
Four Loko will be gone from our (American) store shelves by Dec. 13. If you aren't going to make your own, and you insist on consuming grain alcohol in a gimmicky fashion, there is another option: hooch-heavy whipped cream....

In Case You Missed the Beat Down
Why in the name of NBA JAM shouldn't Deadspin EIC A.J. Daulerio and contributing editor Drew Magary fly to LA to play 2-on-2 with ex-NBA power forward John Salley (aka Spider) and the short but court-prowess possessing Kevin Hench (the Henchman)?...

The Hater’s Guide To Taylor Swift
Apropos of nothing, can I unsubscribe to Taylor Swift? Is that possible? I'd really like it to be possible....

Canadian Football Player Breaks His Leg Like An American Football Player
Leron Mitchell broke his leg during the Grey Cup last night. It's really awful, but the YouTube description is beautifully poetic: "Leron Mitchell snaps his leg during the CFL championship game. His team also lost." When it rains in Canada, it pours....

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

Pink Blackberry Cover Girl Is Not Jen Patterson, Jen Patterson Says
I-Team mystery solved. Please have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow. [JenPatterson's Twitter]...

Tom Brady Going Bald, In Latest Dumb Rumor Sure To Dominate The News This Week
Brady was spotted at a hair transplant clinic in Rhode Island earlier this month, according to a tabloid report. The evidence is thin, sure. But is it as thin as Tom Brady's thinning hair?...

Peter King Only Drives The Favremobile On Weekends
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...

Real Madrid And Barcelona Could Provide The Best Soccer Game On Earth Tomorrow
It's a waste of time to try and convince soccer haters of the excellence that tomorrow's el Clasico between Ronaldo's Real Madrid and Messi's Barcelona potentially offers. It's also unnecessary to remind fans of the 2:55-ish p.m. EST start....

Who Is Pink Blackberry Cover Girl?
Upon seeing the photo from this morning's Wake Up Deadspin post about Chicago Blackhawk John Scott beating Kings enforcer Kevin Westgarth into bloody submission, astute reader Anarchy Salad posed a very interesting scenario....

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
There's been a lot of Mike Vick talk this week. Probably because he's the most interesting non-concussion NFL story. Living 10 miles from where he works creates an inherent bias, though. So, is Vick's "comeback" the top storyline?...

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Sure, Patriots owner Robert Kraft took the inspirational, everything's-gonna-be-a'ight approach to talking about the looming bloodsport between billionaire owners and millionaire players in today's Boston Globe......

Hockey Player's Face Gets Bloodied While Lady With A Pink BlackBerry Cover Sort Of Watches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Having spent 16 months as a South Carolinian, I might could think USC/Clemson is the best rivalry going. I done seen how severely people turn on people who support the other side, and I revel in its peak-level sadism....