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Brad Richards Shot A Hole In The Glass Last Night
This slap shot by the Stars' Brad Richards was different than your everyday slap shot in that it BROKE CLEAR THROUGH THE FREAKING GLASS. [Sportress of Blogitude]...

Cockblocked by Mario Manningham! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

This Is What Four Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Do In The Bathroom Together
Years of standup-comic banter has been deemed irrelevant now that we have seen what happens when women go to the bathroom together. (Yeah, I don't know what's going on here, either. It has something to do with Roto-Rooter.) [CNET]...

San Francisco Bar Offers Warm Welcome To Josh Hamilton
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Sad Vlad Is Not A Meme" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
David Murphy will play the outfield tonight, instead of the automatic ball-return putting green the Rangers trotted out yesterday. If the Rangers can't pull out a win, this might be the last time Texans see people smoking pot. Comments. Use them....

Peeper Videos Of Kevin Durant Are A Dumb Viral Something Or Other For Nike
Here's a peeping Tom-style video, supposedly shot by this kid, in which Kevin Durant supposedly moves into what's supposedly his new house. It's an ad for Nike. Because that's all anything ever is anymore....

Heat Strokes, Game 2: Moon Over Miami
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Please Don't Give This Tiny Ron Washington Cocaine For Halloween
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Not Cowboys-Niners" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
Lee/Lincecum is yet another matchup of aces. Maybe this one will produce the 20 innings of scoreless ball that assorted Halladay/Sabathia/Price/Liriano matchups failed at. This Rangers fan who quit his job to watch the series is hoping so. Musings in comments, please....

The Ol' "Run Over The Ref After Getting Ejected" Trick Fails Once Again
We've all been there before: kicked out of an amateur soccer game and so pissed off at the ref we hop in our car, drive onto the field, and try to run that bastard down. Wait, no, that's insane....

Heat Strokes, Game 1: Should This Diary Be What You Want It To Be?
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

The Nerdiest Thing You'll Ever See
This is...this is just excellent. And keep in mind, Deadspin commentariat: this is how the rest of the world sees you....

This JaMarcus Russell Interview Is Soul-Crushing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: ex-Raider and substance abuser JaMarcus Russell....

Grow Up and Drink Something Fancy, Manly
You've moved out of Mom's basement, so it's time to order something at the bar that doesn't come in size "yard." Try a Rusty Nail. It's fancy and manly, and an 18th-century rebel prince ran from England to Scotland with the recipe for Drambuie in his knickers—all so you could enjoy this very cocktai...

Silencing Joe Buck And Tim McCarver: A Simple Tech Solution To Our Crappy World Series Announcers
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, Fox's World Series broadcast team, will begin inflicting themselves on a national television audience tonight. Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: just synch up the broadcast with radio commentary....

The Result Of A Skate To The Neck Is Quite Frankensteiny
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Ah, Hell, Let's Just Root For The Comet" NBA Heat-Celtics Open Thread
The NBA season kicks off tonight. It was quite an offseason, but Juwan Howard's title quest begins in earnest tonight. Comment along as you watch and talk about the other games, too....

Helmet-To-Helmet Hits Are Even More Excruciating With Children Involved
Click to view All the recent talk about football and player health has centered on the NFL and college ranks. This video—origins unknown—is proof that football's safety issues begin even earlier. Step one? Maybe not have the kids do the Oklahoma drill. [Guyism]...

How Much Would It Take For You To Be A Cannibal?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering hotel dining cart theft, train tracks, squirrel fighting, and more....

Elaborate Goal Celebration Sees Your Sharpie And Raises You A Compact Car
Antoine Griezmann of Real Sociedad may be an up-and-coming French soccer star, but that doesn't excuse this ridiculous celebration after his header put the White and Blue up two-nil on Deportivo. Act like you've been there before, young man. [Hot Clicks]...