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The NFL's Hit-Porny New Safety Video: The Director's Cut
The NFL released a new safety video yesterday that's deeply troubling, and not just for defenseless punters. For one thing, it's basically hit porn, as the version here demonstrates....

Chad Henne Blames The Quarterbacks When Receivers Get Hurt
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dolphins Quarterback Chad Henne....

Of Course Christopher Walken Uses A Typewriter
You are now reading this in Christopher Walken's voice....

Good Work, America
This week's episode of The T.Ocho Show drew a 0.1 rating, or slightly more than 100,000 people. Why, that's barely better than playoff baseball! [Sports Media Watch]...

Cockblocked by Imagined Transgenderism! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

"Unnamed" Viking Expresses Thoughts On New NFL Safety Rules Via White Board
Following NFL releasing a new safety video, one that shows Seahawks punter Jon Ryan getting hit "cleanly" by the Bears Earl Bennett, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe—I mean "someone"—shared his thoughts on the perceived hypocrisy of the league. Kluwe will be fined by Roger Goddell later today. [@ChrisWar...

Last Night's Winner: Roy Halladay's Junk
The Giants had a chance to shut the door and go back to their second World Series this decade, but Roy Halladay befuddled them. This despite what one writer so wonderfully characterized as a "barking" groin....

Boy, I Bet This Fan Regrets Threatening Wayne Rooney's Life Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Pitchin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" Phillies-Giants Open Thread
Lincecum! Halladay! Giants! Phillies! Wine bars! Yuengling! It's your NLCS Game 5 open thread!...

Chip Kelly Doesn't Want To Hear About How Boise St. Beat Oregon Last Year, OK?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oregon head football coach Chip Kelly....

No One Gives A Shit About Cheap Shots
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

What If Potential Concussion Victims Don't Want The NFL To Crack Down?
All along we've assumed that skill players would welcome punishment for helmet-to-helmet hits, decreasing their risk of brain trauma. But what if we were wrong? Reggie Bush, of all people, makes the case that a concussion is preferable to the alternative....

Sad Pistons Can't Even Put Together A Real Cheering Section
How bad are things in the Motor City if the Pistons can only get 11 people to show up to tryout for their new cheering section that's giving away free tickets? Somehow this is Tracy McGrady's fault. [The Detroit News]...

Bleacher Report Editors Demand Bleacher Report Writers Be Less Retarded
If you are one of those unlucky sports fans who has to slog through Bleacher Report's Google-raping SEO "stories" when you do a general news search for a topic about an athlete, team, or topseventeensidelinereportersthechileancoalminersshouldhavesexwith, this is great news....

How San Francisco: Grandma Loves Baseball Team, BDSM
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Minnesota Wild Fan Warns Rick Rypien That He, Too, Is Going To Lawyer Up
James Engquist, the 28-year-old who was "grabbed" by Canucks forward Rick Rypien last night, told the Star Tribune that he is "seeking legal representation" because he was "assaulted, that's just the bottom line." What a day for lawyering up!...

Your "Hey, A Fourth Starter!" Phillies-Giants Open Thread
We feel a little gypped, with Philly starting Joe Blanton and San Fran going with some random bum(garner). But they're telling me it'll actually count. Oh well. Talk amongst yourselves. (photo via The700Level)...

Ever Wonder What It's Like When The Police Get You Stoned And Make You Drive Around?
But, you know, without living in some crazy, entrapment-filled police state? I hadn't either, but thankfully LA Times columnist Steve Lopez got to smoke some dank shit from some CHiPs—ha, chips—officers and then drive around for his and our amusement....

At Least One Yankee Fan Saw Some Action: This Old Guy Groping His Ladyfriend
The email came in: "You have any interest in photos of an old man who had his hand down a lady-friend's shirt, cupping, rubbing her breast for close to 2 hours while watching the Yankees game last night?" I would say so....

James Harrison Threatens To Quit Football If He Can't Continue Hurting People
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Steelers linebacker James Harrison....