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Aussie Says There Are "Some Perks" To Having the World's Widest Tongue
Jay Sloot, aka Tongue Boy, says he doesn't use his freakishly huge slab of mouth-meat as "a pick-up line." No, I reckon he wouldn't have to....

Guy Without Arms or Legs Swims the English Channel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Video of a White Dude Tightly Embracing His Inner Bengals Cheerleader
Bob Herzog is the traffic reporter for a Cincinnati television station. His favorite band is Huey Lewis & the News and his favorite dance tune is Footloose. ("Yep, I'm a dork," he explains on Local 12's website.)...

Your College Football Late Games Open Thread
Air Force at Oklahoma. Arizona State at Wisconsin. Clemson at Auburn. Texas at Texas Tech....

Here's Video of a Lady Weightlifter Puking Like a Fountain
(H/T Bob's Blitz)...

Armed Lions Fan Makes Creepy Video About Hunting Eagles
Sure, it's great that the Detroit Lions have fans passionate enough to make YouTube videos about their upcoming games like this week's against Philly. It's still kind of jarring to get a behind-the-scenes look at how militias form....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
Can Massachusetts keep the final score respectable against Michigan? Someone really values the rivalry that is Northern Illinois at Illinois, right? And maybe, just maybe, someone can explain how Georgia doesn't upset No. 12 Arkansas....

Joe Torre Quits on the Dodgers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Salley Story Corner: Dennis Rodman Will Blow Up Your Spot
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: getting your spot blown up by Dennis Rodman...

Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....

The One Where Erin Andrews And Kirk Herbstreit Rumors Resurface
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Kelly Tripucka" Hangs Out With San Antonio Spurs, Is Lead Singer Of Arcade Fire
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: everyone's favorite Polish-American Knicks color commentator Kelly Tripucka....

In Calvin Johnson's Version Of Events, The Referee Talks Like Kanye West
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Detroit Lion and pass dropper Calvin Johnson....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Vaginal Bear Trap Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Lions Cheerleaders Not Allowed To Be Lions Cheerleaders
Following the lead of just about every other team, Detroit has finally brought in some spirit. A few caveats: they're not allowed to cheer, and they're not allowed to be affiliated with the Detroit Lions. You're doing it wrong....

Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...

Last Night's Winner: Mississippi Valley State's Airline Miles
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the MVSU Delta Devils, who will play their entire nonconference schedule on the road, because the program really really needs the appearance fees....

Here Are Some Grisly Photos Of A Sailor's Body Parts After Being Eaten By This Tiger Shark
Yesterday, we pointed you to this story about the poor sailor chomped by a tiger shark off the coast of the Bahamas. Underwater Times has the gruesome after photos. If you have a quick gag reflex, do not continue....

"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....

Jets Fans Are Just As Classy As Their Team
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....