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What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....

The First NBA Mugshot Of The Holiday Season Has Arrived
Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi and his girlfriend were both charged with domestic assault early yesterday morning. Police arrested both because they had two conflicting stories. Very conflicting....

The White Trashiest Family Ever Hopes You Had A Good Thanksgiving
Is that not the greatest photo ever? Insane Clown Posse tattoo? Check. Pro wrestling t-shirt? Check. Weed t-shirt? Check. Pregnant belly busting out over unbuttoned pants? Damn right, check. Do I even need to tell you this photo was taken at a Mötley Crüe concert?...

Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....

Your Annual "I'm Watching This Because I Have Calvin Johnson On My Fantasy Team" Open Thread
This could be one of those 50-10 Thanksgiving blowouts the Lions have semi-traditionally served-up for turkey-banging America, but in this kooky NFL season, Shaun Hill could have the game of his life. Yell about all the pre-feast drama, right here....

Mike Leach Sues ESPN
The former Texas Tech coach has filed suit against ESPN and the PR firm repping Craig James alleging both libel and slander. Leach was fired after allegations he mistreated James's son Adam. Someone unfreeze the ombudsman! [AP]...

This Is How The MLS Champion Colorado Rapids Drunkenly Celebrate Victory
By bar-hopping in costumes. And they let a writer from the Denver MetroMix tag along for the celebration. Well, some of it. Then he was summarily kicked off the party bus. I'm shocked Patrick Kane didn't crash the festivities. [MetroMix]...

Heat Strokes, Games 12-14: The Deathly Hallows
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...
A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....

Boomshakalakaexpialidocious
That's right, the backboard-shattering, early-'90s arcade dunkfest known as NBA JAM is back. Now, with Sarah Palin, headbands, and new game modes, plus, old pal Grandmama. In case you were wondering, Mr. Boomshakala himself has been keeping busy by name-checking Deadspin....

Real Madrid Two Get Sent Off On Purpose
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

The Blake Griffin Poster Has Arrived
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Crazy NYC Corner Store Fight Is Crazy
NYC bodegas are always good for something. Take this ridiculous fight for example. Somebody owes somebody money, so somebody else throws some shit around, then: pandemonium....

Dennis Rodman Was Getting A Beej During This Interview
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dennis Rodman multitasks. Really....

Guess How Many Points Deadspin Scored Against John Salley
Why in the name of NBA JAM shouldn't Deadspin EIC A.J. Daulerio and contributing editor Drew Magary fly to LA to play 2-on-2 with ex-NBA power forward John Salley (aka Spider) and the short but court-prowess possessing Kevin Hench (the Henchman)?...

“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...

Devils' Advocate: A New Feature About Duke Basketball And Why You Should Like It
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

Last Night's Winner: Wade Phillips, Tom Landry, What's The Difference?
The recently-fired Cowboys coach gave his first lengthy interview since becoming a recently-fired Cowboys coach. In what was either a poor choice of words or a complete inability to understand football, he compared himself to that most legendary of Dallas coaches....