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Newest Trend: Talk Show Cue Card Holders Moonlighing As College Basketball Coaches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Your "Get Ready For Some Passing, Bro" MNF Open Thread
Tonight, the NFL's two most prolific passers and their mediocre football teams face off on Monday Night Football. This should guarantee your week's fill of quarterback hyperbole from Gruden, Jaws, and Tirico. Enjoy, gunslingers!...

Jay Cutler Is Cool With Being In A Celebrity Couple
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Bears QB on his relationship being tabloid fodder....

Tony Parker Makes Split From Eva Longoria Official-Official
This is not a photo of him celebrating his new-found freedom to sport-hump. This is actually from their pre-wedding yacht orgy or whatever it was where X17 paparazzi lurked. For divorce details, TMZ Sports has all your legalese....

MLS Season Ends In Most Fitting Way Possible
The MLS Cup was last night. (Did you notice? Did you know NASCAR also crowned its champ?) It ended with an own goal and the hero injuring himself on his fateful strike. It couldn't have gone down any other way....

Samuel Eto’o Gets All Zinedine Zidane About It
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff. ...

Brad Childress Granted Merciful Release From Coaching Vikings (UPDATE)
After a morning of reports that Childress would keep his job, Jay Glazer is reporting that the hirsute coach has been fired. No word yet on who will be named interim coach....

Matt Ryan's Either Got Skidmarks, Or It's A Heavy Flow Day
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Claude Giroux Scores Dong Goal For Flyers But Isn't Into Dong Talk
Here's Flyers color guy Steve "Coatesy" Coates chuckling at Claude Giroux's reticence to talk about where the puck hit him on a second-period tip-in goal last night. It's funny because it hit the dongal zone of his uniform pants....

Your NFL Late Games Early Thread
Indianapolis at New England. Good. Tampa at San Francisco, Seattle (Strength and Conditioning Coach pictured) and New Orleans* and Atlanta at St. Louis: Ungood....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Well, this has got to be a first from the past few weeks: Three relatively decent early games (plus the compelling 4-14 showdown between Dallas and Detroit)!...

Here's Video Of The Knockout Of The Year Getting Delivered In Atlantic City Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Not a big fan of America and/or papists? Army playing Notre Dame in Yankee Stadium must be infuriating. But I love America. And I was raised Catholic. So save your godless enemies of the state hate for someone else....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Even if Northwestern's redshirt-freshman QB Evan Watkins wasn't the pussy slayer that this sign maker told College Gameday Nation he is, Illinois vs. Northwestern at Wrigley is a rubbernecker's dream....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
They've banned vuvuzelas at the Harvard-Yale game. And they're rocking out with their gamecock out for the South Carolina/Troy game. ...

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Beware Of Ohio State's "Brutus" Lurking At Gas Stations And Thad Matta's Exclamation Points
This haunting image comes courtesy of a reader named Andrew who sent this in with the creepy message "As always," most likely moments before he was dragged from the car and disemboweled in the parking lot....

A Watched Bridge Never Implodes
A pair of Chicago morning show anchors eagerly wait for the demolition of a bridge...and wait...and wait some more. They come back to the studio for some chit-chat, only to completely miss the destruction. They proceed to freak right the fuck out....

Please Help Us Track Down Lisa Ripi, The "Jets' Muscle" In The Favre Massage Incident
Lisa Ripi is a personal trainer/acupuncturist who works, or worked, for the New York Jets. According to sources, she oversaw the massage therapists at Jets camp in 2008. She knew about Favre's texts, we're told, and urged the therapists to do nothing....

Chris Bosh Still Just Wants To Chill
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chris Bosh on his "happy word."...