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Two Pop Queens <3 Notre Dame. Great.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Comedian Robert Schimmel Ponders the Kobe "Rape," Rips Total Gym Roid Freaks and Dies
In particular order ......

When They Came For the Cheerleaders, American Gymnasts Spoke Up
Back in July, a federal judge said cheerleading isn't a sport as a stand against Quinnipiac University using competitive Spirit Getting to nix the women's volleyball team via gender-equity requirements....

Dodgers Fan Takes a Dinger to the Dome
What happens when you don't listen to the guy screaming, "Heads up! Heads up!" in the line of batting practice fire? This......

NFL Cut Day Open Thread
Who got cut? Who should've? Anything else on your mind besides/including trying to figure how Leinart still tends to pull quality ass (not pictured) when even Sanchez is starting?...

Manny to Boston, Youk: Lo Siento Mucho, Bros
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Salley Story Corner: Sexual Healing In Atlanta, And An Interrogation From Isiah Thomas
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Zeke is not pleased with Salley's rehab methods....

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Jets' Command Center Offers Real-Time Analytics for Sales, Stats Freaks
Austin Carr over at Fast Company is a stats junkie. When he heard about the "Command Center" at The New Meadowlands Stadium—a real-time analytics tool that tracks ticket sales, concessions, and more—he had to see it for himself....

Don't Forget To Cast Your Deadspin Hall Of Fame Votes
The voting, as it stands: 61% for Athlete Dong, 78% for Salisbury, 50% for Nightmare Ant, 61% for Whitlock, and 91% for Mariotti. Only about 83 hours left to spam yes votes for Nightmare Ant and all the others. Vote now!...

Creepiest Fan Ever Has 1300 Cheerleader Videos
One man has spent years taking slow-motion videos of cheerleaders at college football games, and uploading them to YouTube. You dial 9-1, then click through to see just how bizarre this is, then dial 1 again....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jay Mariotti
Before the last fortnight happened, Jay Mariotti would have been a serious contender for the Deadspin Hall of Fame. Now that it has ... well, frankly, I'm a little surprised he's not in the HOF already....

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hey, Everybody, College Football's Back
College football makes its big honking return tonight. There's a fairly full slate of games to watch, so how would you like an open thread?...

Watch George Plimpton And Billy Martin Awkwardly Pimp Old Video Games
Intellivision came out in 1979 as a competitor to the Atari 2600. Within a few years, Intellivision had its own baseball game with its own celebrity pitchman, forcing Atari to respond in kind. Thus, the George Plimpton-Billy Martin rivalry was born....

Floyd Mayweather Might Be A Punk, According To Freddie Roach
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: boxing trainer Freddie Roach....

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Here's Will Leitch Stammering About Baseball On <em>MSNBC</em>
The Emeritus stopped by The Chucklehut With Joe Scarborough this morning to talk about his new book and baseball. If you've ever heard Will talk, you know he's...excited. He did not disappoint this morning, stammering through his segment....

Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....

Now <em>Turkey</em> Wants To Take Away Your Right To Check Out Cheerleaders
Fresh off news that dancers at the FIBA world championship had to overdress for USA-Iran, we now get word that their services won't be required during Turkey's games from now on. Man, if I didn't hate Hedo Turkoglu before... [NYT]...