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The Prettiest, Most Rigorous Examination Of Bobblehead Giveaways You'll See
The great Craig Robinson of Flip Flop Fly Ball has produced the graphic you're looking at, from which you learn, among other things, that the Brewers hate their current roster, and the Marlins are cheap bastards. Click to enlarge. [Flipflopflyin.com]...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Jason Whitlock
Some people find Jason Whitlock provocative and daring. Some find him a lazy, unhinged boor who pretends sportswriting is some sort of professional wrestling/UFC roleplaying game, with Twitter as his personal version of the octagon. Which are you?...

Another Strongman Named Tito Emerges, This One Half-Naked
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint
A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com]...

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....

Derek Dooley Hints Matt Simms Might Be The Starter
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley....

Summermodo: A Whole New Way To Grill
The Automatic Chef motorized grill is where space-age and stone-age grilling techniques meet. An adjustable battery-powered arm slowly rotates a 22" grate over your roaring open flame, cooking everything to perfection. Check out Summermodo for more awesome high-temp gear....

At-Bat Music Is Ripe For A Prank
Adam LaRoche made sure the PA system played "It's Raining Men" the first two times Kelly Johnson stepped to the plate. This will feature prominently in season ticket sales pitches, since it's more fun than any actual baseball in Arizona....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
After a two-year hiatus from our Hall of Fame nominating rolls, Nightmare Ant has returned. But really, Nightmare Ant will never really go away. Hell, Christopher Nolan just made a movie about him....

Nothing's More Metal Than A Nice Pinot Grigio
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Redesign The NFL's Terrible Concussion Poster And Win Some Money
It was a noble gesture to put up this poster in NFL locker rooms, but look at it: It's boring, it's wordy, and players will never pay attention. If you can do better, there's a cash prize in it for you....

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Sean Salisbury
Now that his lawsuit against Deadspin and Daulerio has finally been dropped, allow me to take this opportunity to finally speak about the issues between this Website and the one-time thespian. So, [clears throat] ......

Cardinals Website Doesn't Give Two Hits About Copyediting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Owen Hart
Every week or so, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Owen Hart, who fell to his death in 1999 during a WWE pay-per-view event....

Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...

Mark Prior Doesn't Know Why You Keep Asking Him About Stephen Strasburg
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: walking arm injury Mark Prior....