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10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...

Baseball Player Acts Like Soccer Player, Inspires Existential Crises
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Football Dad Motivates Son With BB Gun, Overdoses, Has Fantastic Mugshot
A Florida man who this weekend was charged with prodding his stepson to run "football sprints" while motivationally waving a BB gun is now in the hospital after an apparent overdose....

Tom Brady Wishes Patriots Fans Were More Like Jets Fans
Brady wasn't pleased with Gillette Stadium emptying out early in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game, and noted that Jets fans would never leave with time remaining. Well, sure, but that's because of Rex Ryan's gravitational pull. [Boston Herald]...

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....

Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Juiceboxes)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....

Tennis Has Its <em>Heidi</em> Moment, And Everyone Is Pissed
"This partnership will provide more tennis, to more people, in more ways than ever before," said the USTA's CEO in 2008 after signing a six-year ESPN deal. He was partially correct: I've never seen a tennis broadcast quite like yesterday's....

Your Patronizingly Edited WNBA Finals Highlights, Game 1
The NBA's lady auxiliary sneaked in Game 1 of its Finals on Sunday so we decided to collect some of the "best" "moments" from the "game" and set them to a "classic" Herb Alpert tune. "Enjoy."...

Binghamton Baller Who Fled Country Finally Faces The Music
Miladin Kovacevic, the Binghamton basketball player who beat a schoolmate into a coma and then fled to Serbia, accepted a plea deal and will spend 27 months in prison....

We Rang In the 2010 Football Season with Mini-Wieners and Vitaminwater Zero. You?
At the Deadspin Fall Football Kickoff Party sponsored by the good folks at vitaminwater zero, the second floor of NYC's Professor Thom's was packed with writers, media luminaries, hoopsters, interns, interlopers, and a few actual sports fans unabashedly flirting, schmoozing, imbibing, and screaming...

How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore
The easiest test of human intelligence is taking someone to Taco Bell and seeing if they order a drink size bigger than small, even though the refills are free. Now, your letters:...

Nadal Finally Wins His U.S. Open. Sucks For Us.
A prediction: Rafael Nadal will never win another U.S. Open....

Your Comments Will Now Be Judged Differently
Yes. I know. Who's excited about a change in the commenting system? YAY. But, this time, I think you'll find these new additions helpful in your quest to become a commenting superstar. Pickle?...

Last Night's Winner: Naughty Text Messaging
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Chris Rainey and Francisco Rodriguez, who allegedly sent their sometime ladyfriends the sort of text messages that our country's law enforcement frown upon....

Waino, Skip, And The Double Dutch Rudder
Sometimes, we post thoughtful and measured criticism of athletes and the media. Other times we post videos that make it look like two Cardinals players are beating each other off....

Clinton Portis Adds Some Fresh Perspective On This Whole Ines Sainz Thing
The always entertaining Clinton Portis chimes in on Sainz's Jets locker room dust-up in the way you would probably expect Clinton Portis to chime in on it....

Rafael Nadal Digs Deep For A U.S. Open Victory
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Ravens-Jets
Monday night, the time of the week when it used to be a novelty that football was on but hasn't been for quite a while, is finally here, and both teams have a bunch of sparkling new toys to show off tonight....