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The NCAA's Futile Effort To Fix The NBA Draft
The new NCAA President wants to change the rules on draft eligibility, proposing an MLB-style system. It's a noble effort. It's completely unworkable....

Philip Rivers Is Hearing Voices, But He Doesn't Have Ryan Mathews' Bladder Issues
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chargers QB Philip Rivers....

Holy Parakeets and Hot Sauce, Your Drunken Hookup Failures Have Kind of Blown Our Minds
The Drunken Hookup Failure Contest is underway. You guys are a bunch of sick bastards. We mean funny sick, and just plain sick sick. Enjoy the stories of drunken hookups gone awry, then vote for the one you'd like to see re-enacted in video....

Great Moments In Minor League Formalwear
I was backing out of a tight parking spot today and I did that thing where you back up little by little by little until you either A) Have sufficient room to turn out of the space, or B) Tap into the other car by accident. I did the latter today, and man, that always makes me feel like a giant bag o...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Adonal Foyle
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we look at video love letters to players that are even less deserving than usual. Today's subject: NBA big man Adonal Foyle—who announced today that he's retiring—set to "Age of Aquarius." ...

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is What Happens When You Try To Chug An Entire Bottle Of Patron
Drinking alcohol and chugging alcohol go hand-in-hand in today's party scene. Whether you're icing your bro or using a three-story beer bong, you're chugging. But what happens when you try to chug a bottle of Patron? Vomit. Lots of vomit....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

Mack Brown Is Sick And Tired Of All These Agents Getting His Players Suspended
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Texas Longhorns coach Mack Brown....

One Female Deadspin Reader Is Still Willing To Have Sex With You If You Join The Facebook Group
One of our lone, lovely female fans is making the most of all the new imaginary friends she's acquired since joining the Deadspin Facebook page. But she needs more options. Help her build a life....

A List Of Other Things Thrown At Tila Tequila By Furious Clown-Faced Teenagers
The Village Voice's Camille Dodero was onstage when the former (?) reality star was attacked by the angry Juggalos. Yes, they threw rocks at her, but here's the list of other items which may or may not have pelted poor Tila....

Deadspin I-Team: Which Reporter Asked For Tim Tebow's Autograph? (UPDATE: Chickster Exoneration Edition)
Fox Sports's Alex Marves tweeted this morning that two members of the Cincinnati media had asked for—and received—Tim Tebow's autograph after last night's Bengals-Broncos preseason tilt. Who are the unprofessional sycophants causing such a media uproar/circle jerk?...

Summermodo: Completely Insane Ways to Manage Summer Shrubbery
Got 22-inch guns? Bothered by summer overgrowth? Are you out of your mind? Then the lawnmower on a stick is the hedge trimming tool for you! Summermodo 2010 has lots of ingenious ways to add excitement to your sweltering summer afternoon....

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....

In A Town Called East Hampton, A Man Called Mike Lupica Played A Game Called Softball
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tila Tequila Attends "Gathering of the Juggalos," Suffers Predictable Fate
"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw firecrackers on stage." [news.com.au]...

Jayhawks AD Spreads His Wings With Style
In Lew Perkins' defense, he does look like big smooth bird who just gets what Orville and Wilbur were going for....

Here's Video of D-Wade Shattering a Child's Self-Esteem, Sense of Worth
[H/T Red's Army from the Rucker Park event]...

Is Jorge Posada a Stone-Cold Killer?
Here's slo-mo footage of the Yankees catcher's home-run yesterday at whatever field the Kansas City Royals "play" on....

Chris Chambers, Chris Chambers' Stalker Have Been Pronounced Husband and Wife
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter’s anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....